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Posts archive for: October, 2006
  • Nishimura Kyotarou Travel Mystery

    I'm not afraid to tell you that I have no idea what is going on here.

    From what I witnessed, this is what I saw. There was this chap, out for a jog, crossing a bridge. One minute all the world is his treadmill, the next he's lying face down with arrow sticking out of his back. After a short time a small crowd of Japanese police investigators stand around looking at him. Via my 3DO multiplayer, I quizzed some people. A couple of guys, some high school girls and a women who had seen him fall. The woman had better make-up than everyone else, including the men, I felt she was a significant character in the plot. Especially since her picture is on the cover of the game box. She had witnessed from her appartment on the 8th floor the murder. It was then I put my pad and pen down - it was all too obvious.

    Even though I couldn't understand a word they were saying - mostly because everyone in the game spoke Japanese and I don't, I had solved the crime.

    He had been the 3rd man in Virtual Cameraman 1 to 5. Clutching his grubby evidence of partially naked Japanese girls in his hand. Shot in the back by a game critic.

    ...or at least that is what I told the police.

    This appears to be the Japanese answer to Psychic Detetive or Snow Job. A mildly amusing Interactive Murder Mystery Movie for Japanese speakers only.

    Expensive in Japan from what I gather - so I guess one of the stars of the game is very famous over there. Although my cursory investigation into this theory met with shrugs.

    "Do you know this woman?"

    "Nah"

    Enjoy,

    3DO Kid.

    s2s3s4s5s6s9s8s7

  • Virtuoso.

    This blog has been a learning curve for me. It has been almost a year now since I started and it's not just punctuation and spelling that I've battled with. You know - I have gotten to know a little bit more about myself too.

    For example: Games that are popular and good are all fine and dandy but writing about them can be as boring as hell. I play a game and yes, it is good. I then read other peoples reviews. I then feel compelled to tell you something new, something interesting. Good games, I have to admit, can be a chore. This can be off-set by looking at games I personally enjoyed and feel it is my duty to convince you, the reader, to try and enjoy them too. My coverage of Starblade for example.

    ...But the real joy, the real fun, the thing I enjoy the most is when I can sink my teeth into a really bad game. Johnny Bazookatone. Cyberdillo. Wolfenstien 3D. I just relish the kill. The abuse. The hatred and scorn I pour over them. And you have to admit, maybe not mine, but you all enjoy reading about the games that score 1 out of 10 of 2 out of 10 in the magazines?

    Hate is fun.

    I'm right aren't I? Of cause this creates another problem. For me it is easy to go over the top. My coverage of Primal Rage and Wolfenstein 3D was over the top. I admit it. So I feel I have to temper that. Learn to control that urge and be more analytical. Provide a more mature, scientific approach.

    So - with that in mind - Virtuoso by Elite.

    Right now. In hell. Satan is still looking for a 2,000 year old pooh he had sauteed in tramp fluids. It was a pooh he was looking forward to force-feeding to a small group of very evil AC/DC lovers. Sadly for Satan, said Pooh has been missing for 12 years. But Satan, Master of Darkness, still looks. Ever wondering. Ever questioning. As the days pass in the 7th level of hell you can hear him calling. "Where in Hell is my festering Pooh? Oh tell me where" he cries. I 3DO Kid know. So where is it you're wondering? Let me tell you. It is sat in my Panasonic 3DO multiplayer transferring tramp juices to my screen at 600k/Sec.

    Urg. Is this bad? Is it? Was Vlad the Impaler bad? Was the Grinch bad? Was Tekken 4 bad? Maybe they were. Maybe they weren't.

    There aren't many games that allow you to control a 1984 Guns and roses fan. Fortunately. Of cause, if it had been me making a 1984 Gun and Roses fan into a video game I wouldn't have given them guns. I would have made it similar to Lemmings, but I wouldn't have been saving them from death...

    A game is usually defined as having a number of dimension. 2D or 3D. The truth is that actually any decent game will have 4 or 5 dimensions. The first 2 or 3 are the ones we are most familiar with. Is the game the 2D or 3D? The next dimension is time. How much time does it take to complete. Not true to the scientific definition but a dimension within game that is often considered. The final dimension is the plot.

    So - The first 3 Dimensions of Virtuoso then. Sadly the term 3D does not include the depth to which those 3 dimensions are supposed to go. So, such as Elite have with Virtuoso, you can make that third dimension pretty shallow. So shallow in fact that were you to plunge into the Z-axis in the case of Virtuoso, you would bang your head and knock yourself unconscious. In fact the other two axis' are equally shallow. There have been people buried alive that no doubt felt less claustrophobic than a Virtuoso player.

    To truly encapsulate what I feel about 3D in this 3D shoot'em up, I ask you to reflect on this: When I think of 3D on the 3DO, I think of the Need for Speed and its almost endless mountain side roads and the wonder of the technical achievement. When Virtuoso was being developed, 3D was maybe the bra-size of Gloria, the passing circus dwarf.

    I now move on to the plot. It is gross - and to be fair the word 'gross' is a bit inadequate, but try to imagine a 1984 Guns and Roses fan, complete with long blond hair and leather jacket, shooting at something in the not so far away, yet thanks to the puny graphics engine too far see distance. With a shotgun. The very motion - the very animation - made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand-up. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and mouth tried to control a smile. I was embarrassed to play. Really - honestly - I was embarrassed. Words fail me. Only example will prove my point: Don't forget - I told people they should play Night Trap. I liked Burning Soldier. I played Total Eclipse today. I'm not embarrassed to say this. Yet playing Virtuoso I was embarrassed.

    The things you must shoot. The random, 3D things, that lurch from the feeble fog. What are they? I don't know. Neither did anyone else. It is set on Mars. So there is a lot of red. A fence. Actually a lot fence controlling the play area. And then spiders. And robots. And almost, bit not quite, balls. Shooting at me. I'm not sure why.

    The final dimension. Time. How long? I don't know. Unlike the other dimensions... too long?

    It's quite rare too and crazy prices. I have no idea why.

    3DO Kid.

    vlcsnap-1421495vlcsnap-1421692vlcsnap-1421844vlcsnap-1422070vlcsnap-1422358

  • Luciennes Quest (Part 2)

    I’ll kick-off with the bad news. I’m not a RPG connoisseur. So, I guess, a whole bunch of people have just pressed ‘back’. Muttering something like “What does he know?” – Well nothing probably but then , hey what has changed? Never mind. Who is left? Not many. It is on the 3DO, so we only had the waifs and strays to begin with anyway. Right? OK.

    The only RPGs I have ever played have been Final Fantasy VII, Skies of Arcadia and Paper Mario 2 and these, it should be fair to warn you, are my primary points of reference. And I never actually completed Final Fantasy VII.

    Microcabin and Square in 1993 were all part of some alliance called DOG. And every so often while playing Luciennes Quest you get a strong whiff of Final Fantasy. A posing Cactus fire needles at me. Ogre punch. Fighting a box called Mimic. Meteor Storm. Ringing any bells? Perhaps this is just naïve of me – perhaps all RPGs cross pollinate each other but the little dance at the end of each battle had me wondering.

    The story, such is the want of these type of games, has you playing a 15 year old female apprentice wizard; Lucienne. Who via some deft use of mystical powers and the greater use of some smoke and mirrors, convinces Ago, the male lead character, into embarking on an adventure and taking her with him.

    Plot wise things are revealed in a way that made it enjoyable for me to play. The goal is to initially wreak revenge on the people who have made Ago a Jujin. A Junin being a sort of half beast half human creature but once it’s established that this condition is not actually so bad, and the people who did it to him were not so bad after all, the game moves on to saving the world from the evil Death Shadow. Ago agreeing to remain a Junin until the mission is put to bed.

    Progress through the world, admirably, is achieved by helping people. Initially you have to help Miminaga, an early member of your team. He needs to discover that he isn’t a coward. Other missions have you clearing a town of monsters. Rescuing a team member from slavery and capturing a pig like creature that will help you get across the desert. Although these sound exciting and varied what they amount to is battling through a mine or dungeon, killing some nicely varied monsters and ultimately wiping out the end of level boss. Nicely varied monsters, its true but sadly not nicely animated.

    From the creepy, Deadful Creepy, to the amusing Takokibandy to the semi-realistic Lesser Dragon. It is just a pity they all seem to be a bit arthritic in the animation department. Each character has about 3 frames of rickety motion. In my opinion, in general, the graphics don’t really exploit the power of the 3DO machine. It’s often said the 3DO multiplayer was a handsome 2D graphics shifter but other than a couple of impressive looking bosses, you never get to see this with Luciennes Quest.
    However this eclectic mixture of enemies to chop at is similar to the mix we found in the later FFVII. As per every game I’ve played in this genre, some creatures are more susceptible to different types of magic. There is no obvious clue and I figured it out via trial and error.

    Difficulty was targeted at the impatient. A blessing for an Arcade whore like me. I never lost a battle and I think I died once throughout the entire game when fighting an early end-of-level boss. And no matter how much I screwed up my tried and test strategy, the game forgave me. Which meant as far as I was concerned there was more exploration and less re-treading of familiar ground. I liked that. I liked it a lot. I found it enjoyable to play as it was very lenient. I cannot abide some homicidal RPGs that slay you at the drop of hat and have you traipsing around, trying to remember what you had already done. I think it’s confusing and turns the telling of nice little story into a chore.

    The battles are strategic. Objects such as trees and boulders litter the battle-field and can be used for cover or later even as projectiles. They also get in the way of your attacks on the enemy. Which magic to use and when was reasonably logical but battles did get a little repetitive. Have Lucienne speed up your team using “Speed” and then have her slowing down your opponents with “Slow”. All the while have your big hitters smashing into your foe and the weaker Lucienne patching them up with “Heal” as necessary. Repetitive? Yes. For the hardcore RPGer? Nope. Did I mind? No. Not at all.

    This leads us on nicely to a thorny issue: Random Battles. A somewhat necessary evil of RPGs so it seems. You need skills? You need to level-up? You need money? You need to Random battle. These have to be as balanced as they can, because even with my minimal exposure to the genre, they rapidly become boring. Especially if you have just random battled your way across the map, only to realise you forgotten something. The realisation then hits you. It is that realisation you have to go back. So, through clenched buttocks, snarling teeth and spitting you need to random battle your way back. Luciennes Quest overcomes this kind of scenario by offering you the ability to Teleport. For example: Say you have just battled your way to ‘Hole of Goat’, and then you realise you need the Chief of Mirados’ permission to pass through said hole. All that stands between you and throwing the joypad down in utter rage will be 17 or 18 random battles. Fear not. If you have 60 MP (Magic Points) remaining you can Teleport back to Mirado. What you can’t do is then Teleport back to ‘Hole of Goat’ but it will re-knit your nerves at least in part.

    The other feature of Random Battles is their ability to wear you down, and ultimately kill you. It doesn’t take Sun-Tsu to figure out that battling ‘Fluffy’ the mostly harmless goblin 4,000 times will indeed eventually kill you, no matter how weak and puny he is. During the times where random battles can be most irritating, which is on the world map, Luciennes Quest allows you to rest, thus restoring your attributes and allowing you to save. Fool proof. Well – almost.

    When you find your team of miscreants in a mine, dungeon or underground area, usually performing a mission, the battles are not random at all. They happen in exactly the same place each time. Is this good or bad? I liked it. Others might not I guess.

    If you are looking for a floor to this beginners RPG, then Luciennes’ big let down was the script. It was a bit patchy in my opinion. There are some great moments. For example: During one particular sequence a team member is trying to break open a prison cell. He grunts and groans and puts an enormous amount of effort in. During which he passes wind. It was, at the time, pretty funny. The banter between the team members is actually very good and the personality of the individual characters shines nicely. Sadly, this was ruined sometimes where the script seems to grind to an uncomfortable halt. After completing a necessary mission, you are forced to return to the town elder or leader of a region so you can progress. On more than one occasion this conversation amounted to little more that ‘Cheers, bye then’. This was my biggest gripe with the whole game.

    As the game moves-on, you need better weapons, better spells and better armour. All of which can be bought at the various friendly villages. They can also be found or bequeathed upon you by grateful in-game characters or on completion of a quest. It doesn’t take a BSc in RPGs to figure out the economics or what is going on. What I found was that there was a great deal of buying and selling after every boss had been defeated. Weapons aren’t hugely varied but scale nicely and are never unaffordable. Although you will find yourself short on cash from time-to-time and the need to random-battle your cash flow up, however, it was never a huge amount. Some weapons can hit two enemies simultaneously – things like the bow and arrow and the lances. Some weapons are crossed with magic. Although don’t get to excited about this, a Fire Sword is Sword that can either be just a sword or give you the option of using ‘Fire’ magic. They aren’t combined.

    Just like Final Fantasy the game is split between looking for the next location by wandering the planes of the map, being in a village or fighting you way through an enemy location to defeat a particular boss and then sequences of story to reveal some more of the plot.

    Another element of RPGs, something that is essentially akin to a big plate Okara Nimono for naive RPGers’ is that of ‘Side Quests’. In Luciennes quest, they appear to be entirely missing or so minor you needn’t worry. A quick scamper round the obligatory underground maze, and yes, there are few minor detours to collect extra special weapons or magic but no 40 level chasms of doom to traverse. Which for me at least, was a good thing. Since mid-1998 when I very nearly finished FFVII a single nagging doubt has eaten away at me. A suspicion that approximately £10.00 of my initial £40 outlay on FFVII lies uncompleted. £2.50 of never beating Seproth and £7.50 of Chocobo breeding. Which I would never have done either way.

    What else has Luciennes Quest got or not got?

    It does have GFs. The ability to summon powerful Gods to give your chosen foe a good kicking. They lack the graphical splendour of Final Fantasy but like I said, so does the rest of the game. Still, summon Earth Spirit and you get a picture of a fat bloke for your MP and effort. Summon the Lightening Spirit and you get a picture of what might be a stylised Snail head. These aren’t so powerful. By the time my characters had gotten into the 40Exp area some of my team could smash into the baddies causing upwards of 600 points of damage, in contrast my GFs could only manage no more that 200. Maybe it’s because I didn’t use my GFs much and their experience didn’t grow but there was no suggestion it could. Some GF would also heal and another acted as a portable shop.

    A few things of note was the detail in some of the levels. I liked the way the ‘Towers’ had secret rooms that could only be accessed by moving furniture around. I liked the snow effect on the later levels. I liked the oozing dungeon and the inter-personal conversations between the characters.

    Most of all; I liked the lead character – Lucienne. Female and 15 years old, but a pleasant enough character with right amount of courage, girlish charm and personality. She was funny, witty, intelligent, conniving and I liked her. I don’t know how big her chest was. There was no cheat to make her nude. In fact she was little more than 10 x 10 pixels on the screen. Yet she was easily one of best female characters in any game I have played. Lara, Samus and Jade can clear off. Lucienne is the real female role. Only in my opinion of cause.

    Finally we reach the key topic and the one that true hardcore RPGer will be begging to know: Value for money. Yep. RPGers may spend more time than is healthy looking for lost jewels in unpronounceable places but at least they are thrifty. Lucienne doesn’t have 120 hours of game-play. But then neither do I. I have friends. Family. A life. Better things to do. …and even a job. Despite the almost unified chant of ‘We want more game-play time’ any game that requires more than 30 hours will find itself relegated to the ‘one-for-ebay’ pile in this house. Luciennes Quest has, about 20 hours. Probably about the time needed to breed a black Chocbo.

    Luciennes quest then can be summed up as the quiche eaters RPG. A Role Playing Game for the middle-core. To play it you still need a console that has been obsolete for 10 years and detective powers of MI6 to track it down – The Soft-core need not apply. Yet, it lacks the depth, the longevity and the value for money most dedicated RPG gamers today would demand, but in just over 20 hours I beat it start to finish and I enjoyed every last single minute.

    I'd like to know why Kokindo (Luciennes teacher) was with Death Shadow. I'd like to know if Ago had his curse lifted. I'd like to know if there was a sequel...

    …but I want to summerise – I need to. I can’t leave it there. OK. It’s not perfect. Yes I know. I did love it. It was the characters. Sure they are clichéd and cheap. And the plot? Well - It’s never going to change the world. However, when the credits had finished rolling up the screen and the word “Fin” appeared, I did feel a hefty twang of sorrow. I admit, I didn’t want it to end. In classic style, it was necessary to switch the machine off – and I choked.

    3DO Kid.

    PS: If you are looking for 3DO Kid exclusives below is the only image of Kokindo (Luciennes Wizard teacher) Death Shadow and Death Shadows Dragon and Death Shadows house - just as it crumbles to the ground!

    l1l2l3l5l7l11q3q7q11u4q12u1u10u9u11u12u15u25u26

  • Winning Post.

    KOEI all the way down. As far as the eye can see. Far, far into the distance, great piles of KOEI 3DO games. All with menus deeper than the ocean. Easily, by a country mile, the least import friendly titles on earth. Japanese text and language heavy, with only the words "Press P to continue" being in my mother tongue.

    ...sigh.

    Horse racing. What can I say? I've never been to betting shop or the horse races. When I think of horses, I think of France, glue and dog food.

    Horses: Col. Noun. Animal. 3DO Kid definition: Hideous ugly bone-headed creatures. Best served with a red wine sauce.

    It's true and don't argue. Horses: It was just a minor twist in genetic fate that saved it from being just another cow. A breif moment in history and none of us would have a given a second thought to the McDonalds McPony or The McFilly. Black Beauty wouldn't have been on TV before Ready,Steady,Cook it would have been on during.

    ...I've digressed. Again. Sorry.

    When I got this game it was still shrink wrapped. It still had the new game smell when I opened it. Perhaps I could start a new perfume range? 'Eau du CD' or perhaps "Eau du seedy" get it? I'm wasted on this blog. Anyway...

    It seems to be a case of: Breed horse. Choose a trainer. Choose a jocky. Race horse. All done with menus all in Japanese. Hold on - I'm thinking of food again!

    Why do Japanese games come with that bit of cardboard around the spine of the case? Was it just to add value when the games became retro...?

    There are three, count 'em, three horse racing games for the 3DO platform by my reckoning. This one called Winning Post, then two others: Paddock Note '94 and '95. None of which were released in America or Europe.

    So there we have it. An utterly incomprehensible Japanese only game for the defunct 3DO platform about an animal that I have only enjoyed dead and served on a plate. Ironically in Japan as well as France.

    Import at your peril. You have been warned. It can't be rare if I received a copy shrink wrapped for less than £2.00 now can it?

    3DO Kid.

    w1w5w3w6w7w9w14w15

  • Grand Chef.

    "Kore wa oishii des" and then point at the food. Never mind "Dozo yoroshiku" or "Hajimemashite" which is all well and good if you're showing off to the in-laws or a businessman. No. In my experience "Kore wa oishii des" will get you further in Japan than any other phrase.

    Japan loves its food and it's not all raw fish and whale. Oh - no. Although these, I hasten to add, are 'Oishii'. It is everything they make. Japanese bread is based on French style pastries and is a sight to behold and taste itself. Japanese skewers are a personal favourite of mine. What they, the Japanese, can't do with a noodle, green tea or seaweed probably isn't worth mentioning. Even basic food, something like Curry, as long as you don't want anything too spicy, is a treat. I have yet to have a meal in Japan I didn't enjoy. Moss burger, a classic example, the Japanese response to McDonalds is even for health conscience sap like me, a must. Nabe. Gyu-don. Yakitori. Natto beans. I spent little more than £10 on take-away food in a small supermarket in Gotanda (Central Tokyo) train station and was blown away by how good it was. A plate of Sushi, some chicken skewers and some red bean buns. It was great.

    TV show after TV show with Japanese celebrities munching down every type of food, is staple diet of Saturday night viewing. What is, what isn't, what might be, what could be, what will be - 'Oishii des'. Yummy.

    Japan loves its food.

    So - to the point - Grand Chef is to the rest of us an RPG based around missing recipes and missing tasty food. To my Japanese better half and her small collection of friends and family? Well Grand Chef represents a survival horror.

    A world withoutYummy , and you have to find it.

    The graphics are, simply put, a head and shoulder above FFVII on the Playstation. The lead character, the little chap with a Final Fantasy Cloud style ginger hair-cut, is wonderfully rendered and the 3D town, the only one I managed to get to, was, considering the age of the game, very impressive. More on that later.

    Yet, and much like seeing Oprah Winfreys' nose - when you see it, you know that there is eventually an absolutely enormous BUT coming just around the corner. Yes - you guessed right - there is a catch.

    It, like their food menus, is all in Japanese. You can see it - but if you don't speak the lingo - you can't have it.

    The game starts with a well presented pre-rendered introduction, which from my understanding explains, in the setting of European style restaurant, the recipes are missing and you, as the lead character, have to get them back.

    After a quick journey into a picture(?), the game then dumps you on a 3D real-time rendered mountain. After a brief conversation in Japanese, you are given a sword and another item. You are then introduced to your sidekick. Who appears to be a little bold headed fairy who lives in your brief case. All jolly good. Qwirky? Yes. But hey, we are used to that. Right?

    What appears to be your arch enemy then appears and joins you on the mountain. A nasty looking women with too much make-up. After another lengthy conversation between your character and this women, again in Japanese, she eventually sets one of her henchmen on you. Whom you fight in a traditional RPG turn based style. Frustratingly these menus are in English. Attack and summon. Hinting at what might be to come. Choosing attack simply has you scurrying up to your foe and whacking him with your sword - the summon menu was sadly empty. After defeating this guy I trudged down the mountain. This game was so intriguing, yet so inaccessible, my heart was really sinking.

    I entered a cave. Again rendered real-time and after no events, I left, and entered, to wide-eyed gasps, the first town.

    All in 3D. All rendered real-time. All stylised. Not huge on variety but with some neat touches. There were some random characters scurrying around the town and it all looked, for 10 years old on the 3DO multiplayer, very nice. I nearly wept.

    I did enter a shop. From which I could purchase food items. Assumedly for the yummy food menus I was assigned to re-create. Again all in Japanese. I visited a river with some nice transparency effects. I visited some other houses all located in the hillside. It was all impressive stuff for 1996. Very impressive. Words fail me. Believe me - it all looked good. Oh woe is me. How we, as none Japanese 3DO fans have missed out.

    In all? Absolutely gutting. How good is this game? I don't know. How much fun is it? I don't know. How long is it? I don't know. Side quests, random battles, bosses, anything...!? I don't know.

    It looks good. It looks very good. But I don't know. Why don't I know? Well its a moot point. Too Japanese? The game is actually and despite its high product values rubbish? Some senior Exec at Sala International couldn't be bothered? I guess we will never know.

    ...but it is annoying. Annoying because I wanted to play this. Especially having now completed the graphically inferior Luciennes Quest.

    It is not as rare as is made out by others either. I got this outside of my normal channels very easily.

    By the way, basically "Kore wa oishii des" means "This is yummy". And, I'd like to add, the Europeans and Americans could teach the Japanese a thing or three about beer and the annoying little glasses it always seems to be served in over there!

    Mumble, mumble...

    3DO Kid.

    g1g2g6g7g12g11g13g14g15g16g18g19g20g23g22

  • Sid Meiers CPU Bach.

    ...the other problem of cause has been that Luciennes Quest has been lodged in my 3DO Multiplayer and seems unwilling to leave. Not bad for a guy who doesn't play RPGs. Still - I've travelled to the other dimension, got the key, the mirror, all that is left is to take on Death Shadow!

    Where was I? Oh yes...

    CPU Bach and Sid Meier. Have you noticed? Every Generation they pop-up. Archer on the PSP. Yak Boy Minter on the Jaguar. Sid on this thing. Every so often they, and when I say 'they' I mean the conspiracy three: Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo. Well not Nintendo - they have Miyamoto. But the rest turn to the Royal family of developers for bit of Gaming Magic.

    Please Archer, can we have some old school innovation please? Jeff! Cooeee Jeff! Yes - Hi! Can we have something that hasn't been repeated or rehashed 2,000 times thanks. Something that doesn't have WWII Nazis, Zombies or Goblins. Yeah! Thanks guys.

    Although the conversation with Sid on this one must have been a bit strained.

    ...Virtual Bach you say? Hmmmm. Ermm. OK. Well...

    And that is what CPU Bach amounts to. There are a couple of pre-requisits to this 3DO only title however. Firstly you have to like Bach. Secondly, you don't want to be playing a game. Because it isn't one.

    To break that down further. You choose a style of play. A concert, sunrise, soiree, etc., Designed I believe to fit in with times of the day or an event. You then choose a tempo. Dance, sonatina, concerto, there are around 16 per style. You then pick an instrument: Piano, Flute, Recorder and so on.

    The system then creates a random tune based on your chosen options - obviously in the style of Bach. The music is then played to a visual accompaniment. Some pictures. A digital rendition of Bach playing the Harpsichord. A music lesson - I now know what a Coda is - so there!

    Right now mine is playing Vivace in B Minor. With violins and Cellos - and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good. It is. The on-screen kaleidoscope is fit inducing but the music is calming and, despite being played through my old TV, pretty pleasant sounding.

    The bravest title on the 3DO multiplayer? The bravest title on any platform of the time? I think so. I challenge anyone to stump up another classic music generator on any platform. It's not a game but it is entertainment and certainly worth tracking down. It's a brilliant piece of software.

    In all, if I wasn't terrified of my 13 year old PAL 3DO player breaking down I'd leave this in it to play longer.

    3DO Kid.

    c1c2c4c6c5

  • Nobunaga's ambition.

    It must have happened to someone in Japan. They had finished school for the very last time ever. Their friends. The clink of the beer glasses. The jokes. The laughter. The bright eyed hope for the future. Geography, English, and History. Memories. Fading. Fading. All but gone. They won't be needing them anymore - will they? Then they started their very first day at their new job in the exciting world of video games. Nice. Only to discover it was KOEI. Well - at least the English lesson got to fade.

    One name from Japanese history seems revered and yet demonised. If he's not sending an army of undead Samurai to take over the world, he is being woken up thanks to Warp. And it is a name that crops-up time-and-time again in Japanese games. It is of cause that of Oda Nobunaga. Onimusha, Kessen, Soul Calibur and of cause who could forget Warps' "Let us wake Nobunaga" all pay homage to this King Arthur meets Richard the Lion Heart come Vlad the Impaler character from Japanese history.

    He is popular. From what I have gathered most Japanese people can recount at least one legendary story of this Sengoku era Diamyo. Whether he was attempting to unite Japan or setting fire to a mountain or killing Monks. Everyone recounts, with some relish I might add, a story from Nobunagas list of deeds and misdeeds.

    To make his persona even more enticing he was a hell of strategist apparently, also he was an economist, visionary, trader and lover of the arts. Under his, some what fearsome hand, the Japanese Tea Ceremony came to light and according to Wikipedia he collected European artifacts. Which makes me think that this game would have been translated to English if Nobunaga himself had been steering proceedings down at KOEI Halls...

    So - perhaps the perfect gaming character from history? Stick him in Zero-G suit and a spaceship cos' he's ready for Elite 4. No? Well perhaps not then.

    This game, from my basic understanding, is based around you taking on the role of Mr Oda. You therefore must then fight, trade, train and strategize your way across Japan just like the great man himself.

    It's sad that this game on the 3DO is unplayable to anyone who is not capable of reading or speaking Japanese. It's a festival of Kanji. Sadly.

    There is a long list of games for the 3DO I wanted to play that were made in Japan and this one was right at the top of the list under the heading 'Damn'.

    Must learn Japanese. Must learn Japanese. Keep reminding me.

    3DO Kid.

    n1n3n5n6n12n14n10

  • Name onomancy.

    ...or "Name Interpretation". Another mystic extravaganza from the same people who brought us "Tarot" on the 3DO. Namely, Ariadne the digital equivalent of Mystic Meg.

    This software, rather thoughtfully, comes with a Beer mat. Which after spending more time than is mentally healthy wading through the menu's, was precisely what I needed.

    This isn't a game. To be fair, it isn't really entertainment either.

    The software allows you to enter your Japanese name, if you happen to have one, your English name, which I do have, your couples name, a company name or a product name. Once you've fumbled through keying it in with 3DO controller the system will generate a judgement on your name.

    So - I stuck in 3DO Kid. Except it wouldn't let me. So I put in Threedo Kid and off we went.

    It told me that '3DO Kid' had a tough childhood. It's true! I did! Forced to play second-rate video-games like this hasn't meant my adulthood has fared much better. It told me there will be many job changes and, with a name like 3DO Kid, I would be better-off working in a retail chain. Which left me wondering - was it politely saying flipping burgers down at McDonalds? Spookily - my boss would probably agree. It then went on to say that the year would gradually get better. It did! Well - sort of. And in general I would have a successful life - perhaps missing off the caveat that just as long as I don't set my goals too high.

    It went on to prattle on in some pseudo Chinese-mystic prose that I was like water in small container. Quite possibly.

    In all it could have given me my total fortune, a personality test, basic fortune, society fortune and the early year-fortune and middle-year fortune. All, naturally, "codswallops".

    Not at all import friendly. Even if you speak Japanese.

    3DO Kid.

    n1n2n3n5n8n7P1000503

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