3DO Interactive Multiplayer

The word presentation is an after-thought to most of us. We build something – then we think, perhaps, about presenting it nicely.

Japanese construction ethos is different. To be fair in my opinion it’s driven by fear. This driver is also a myth . However, that myth seems to work and is buried perhaps in some truth.

That myth is fairly simple one. It is 'failure'. And it goes like this: If you don’t do your best, then you will fail. And with failure the best you can hope for is embarrassment.

We have the same thing in Europe and America. Yet we don't believe it quite as feverently as the Japanese seem too. Britian and Europe and America don't know failure - not really. World War 2 and the Japanese technology bubble, I believe, taught the Japanese failure - and to fear it.

So - what you find is that the little tiny insignificant priavtely owned Noodle shops tries its best. The same for the 5 star hotel. The staff are polite, prompt, and they try really hard. No ignorant couldn't careless atitude. Not like it is in England - Or to be fair it is significantly less noticeable in Japan. And this ethos stretches out to every faset. From the guys selling vacuums in Akihabra, who at least give the impression, they are giving 110% to the old lady selling 47 Ronin cups at the temple.

Push - push - push. There are two girls in a Veloce cafe in Gotanda, Tokyo that would show-up badly the workers in my local Starbucks. They can clear a queue, with a larger menu, in a quarter of the time but it isn't just that Veloce cafe - as it turned out it was all Veloce Cafes. But then the girls working at the Ebisu Starbucks were pretty good too. It's fear. Pride. Expectation. Perhaps more. Working and driving them to be better. To work harder. A good thing? For the customer maybe...

The point being that presentation and appearance is just as important as everything else in Japan. Its not so much of an after thought. The coffee, the game, the automobile, everything. All to varying degrees of cause.

So - For some Japanese, a good game will not be a good game if the packaging is rubbish or the manual is boring. Regardless of the game itself. It’s not true of every game – but more true of a lot of games.

So their box art is pretty good. An aquired taste maybe - but good none the less.

A quick walk around a Japanese game store, for me, does seem to prove this. Games you can't read - you can't understand - mesmorize you and make you want to buy them. "Can I get this? It looks fun." I didn't have clue what it was about, but if I said it once, I said half a dozen times. I rarely pick a game in Game or Gamestation.

The idea seems to be in Japanese development that it, whatever it is, it has too look good, feel good, be the same - yet perhaps different at the same time. And this does manifests itself most notably for us in their video game box art.

With that in mind enjoy some 10 year old minor format 3DO Box Art.

3DO Kid.

:Note: If you click on the picture and then click it again you can eventually get to a high resolution original. These are big so modem users beware!

Blue Forest Story.

Deep Blue Fleet.

Escape from Monster Manor.

Ghost Hunter Series: Mask of death.

Graduation Final.

Megadas.

Nobonagas' ambition.

Old Man Hunter: Mahjong.

Romance of the three Kingdoms IV.

Virtual Quest.

I'm not going to bother you know. I'm just not going to do it. The traditional, not at all funny, jokes about American Football and European Football. Or Soccer as it's called. I'm not even going to mention the fact, and it does strike me as odd, that in American Football, well, they don't seem to use their feet very often. Well, other than running with them of cause. And with that, I'm not going to mention it again. It was more of a question rather than a pun. I hope you can forgive me - it has probably been mentioned a thousand times.

There is an enormous amount of detail that comes with John Madden Football that is largely wasted on me.

There are dozens of different teams. Pitches. Weather conditions. Replays and people waving their arms in FMV. But I've never played the game. I've never physically played the game. I don't even know anyone who has. An example: What effect does snow have on an American football player? I can only guess. Sure - he might be cold, but then maybe that's better because they wear a lot of body armour. Perhaps - and I don't know - chilly weather is best to play American Football in? It certainly isn't for soccer but they are different games. I have no point of reference. Sat here in the warm spare room of my house in England, clutching a 3DO controller.

People from America will know because they will have watched a game on TV or played the game or dated someone who played the game and they will know precisely why snow is good or bad.

But what do I know about NFL Football? EA never asked.

The answer would have been 'nothing'. And this one thing is the greatest failing on the part of the developer Electronic Arts. The graphics are amazing. In and out of actual game play. The polish from the teams huddling together making strategy decisions to the pseudo American sports TV presentation in the menus and cut scenes is extraordinary impressive. This is triple 'A' stuff from start to finish.

...but it's wasted and it is such a shame. And it makes me a little angry.

Is the team from Denver better than the team from Dallas? I don't know. To make matters worse, I don't really care. Worse still neither did EA. Or if they did, they weren't going to tell me. Sure, when my little pale blue player grabbed that ball and ran 80% of the pitch, I was willing him on, every step of the way. I knew what he was trying to achieve. A touch down. And yes, I got excited. Yet there was no pride either way. He could have been for any team. And that is precisely where I think I missing out.

For example: I love cars. I love Porsches. If I see a Porsche 911 in a simulation game beating a Lamborgini, I know the 911 is the underdog and all things being standard it's the driver. I know the engine positions are different and I know how that effects. I know the Italian car has this pro and this con. I know where the Porsche is strong and weak. I feel for the Porsche. If it loses I feel bad. If it wins I feel jubilant. Perhaps because I have a vested interest in the German car. I'm emotionally bonded to the car. Yet if I didn't care about cars - would I feel the same? Probably not. And that manifests itself here in John Madden NFL Football. I have no bond with the sport or the teams at any level. And maybe that's OK - but I feel I'm missing out.

...And you know what, I want to bond because this game looks good. It feels good. It's like a mighty Theatre has rolled into town, with lights and drama and big-bangs and it got my attension - but nobody really explained what was going on. So I wandered off feeling left out.

Sure - I could learn the sport. The rules. The plays. The strategies. Yet, without an interest beyond the video-game it would never really mean anything to me. In my brief games, I chose teams that I simply recognised the names of. Not because I know people from those places. Not because my father supported that team. I just picked a team I was vaguely familiar with for no real reason.

...and this is a failing.

EA seems not to have been afraid of providing wall charts and play stats and great mountains of stats and data on American football teams and bundle them with this game.

Yet not one moment has been spared in trying to engage me, a none American, into fully appreciating the game. Would it have cost so much to have teamed up with the British American Football teams and have them help regionalise the John Madden release? Would it have bust the mighty EA bank to provide a booklet giving some personality to the individual U.S. Teams. Their history. Their triumphs. Their failures.

I don't want make this to sound like an American bashing session. The British are just as bad, although no Cricket game has ever set the world on fire and so are the Japanese. Perhaps the Japanese are the worst, as games are deemed 'too Japanese' and never released to the wider world.

It's rubbish. Of cause. Things aren't too Japanese or too American or too European - they just can't be bothered to explain. They talk a good Edutainment but they never deliver at this level. I can't imagine another demographic where inter-cultural information could be so easily dispersed - outside of pornography and finance of cause.

...but the opportunity is never taken.

The other thing is John Madden is not really a pick-up-and-play game. You can - of cause, but you will be doing it a great injustice. Why? Well largely because it seems pretty good. The depth and the effort gone into producing it demands attention and time.

...and who the hell is John Madden?

A brilliant game - I didn't understand.

Not rare either!

3DO Kid.

Japan has brought us so much happiness. Such a small country. With such a lot of people and so many, many, wonderful games. Both new and old. So what the hell is this?

You all know what a Chick-flick is right? A movie made for women. The type of entertainment most men only ever watch while on a mission to engage with knicker content. Anything with Hugh Grant in generally or Leonardo DiCaprio.

Well, it had to happen and why not 1994? Miss Yamamura suspense Kyoto Murder Case is by my calculation the only Interactive Chick-flick ever made. The nice looking earnest young men. The true life settings. The personal relationships. The music - Oh god the music. Memories came flooding back of the music.

Fortunately MYSKMC is about as import friendly as Korean spicy dried dog surprise - on a stick. Not a word of English is spoken or for that matter Romanji (Japanese words written in Roman characters)written in the manual or anywhere throughout the game. The icons are self explanatory but what happens when you press them isn't.

The plot, such as it is, would have the average Mills and Boon writer running in terror at the enormity of the lack of imagination.

Things start off in a very expensive looking Japanese house with a family sat around the table. There are all in full battle dress. Men in suits and ties, women in Kimonos and the old man at the head of the table dressed up the same way I was when I got married in Japan. Except of cause I looked better. [Cough!]

Anyway - they are all congratulating each other. Suddenly one of the younger men takes a swig of red wine and before anything else happens he hits the table - blood spewing from his mouth. Of cause in the only way a boring Chick-flick knows how, which amounts to just a bit of a red dribble really.

After a fake news report, Ms Yamamura-san steps into the fray in an attempt to solve this mystery that spans two CD's.

Even if you could understand what was going on, this game is most likely to have you reaching for a copy of Snow Job or Psychic Detective long before the second CD gets anywhere near being released.

As the testosterone surged through my body, I grabbed the CD marked '1' and flung back in the case - probably never again to see the light of day.

In regards to who dunnit? I reckon it was either the old man, he looked creepy and guilty all at the same time, he's in the screen shot below or perhaps it was a Gamer. And originally the movie was about knitting or something. Who knows? Who cares? Not I!

Now even worth it for the box art sadly.

Rare outside Japan as most of my games are these days!

3DO Kid.

Kenji Eno. Living proof as the song lyrics says, The drugs don't work. Either that or he was (is?) fundamentally insane.

He hand delivered 20 limited edition copies of Enemy Zero for the Dreamcast. For £1000 he did anyway. His mascot was a radish. I've seen it and I'm convinced D2, the Dreamcast edition, has a Deep Throat sequence in it. Don't ask because I won't explain.

I do get the impression that unlike the rest of the industry, who at the time were asking quite a lot of, "What do the kids really want?" Eno-san was saying "Sod the kids. I'll do what I want!" or more realistically, I'll do what I can get away with. A lot of his work has a hint of a curved ball. It is almost as if he was making fun of the world with his ideas and games. Or at least I hope he was. Nets at the ready boys. Do you know what I mean?

You see, can anyone offer a rational explanation for an RPG 2D shoot 'em up? Or that all time classic Wake up Nobonaga? How about todays conceptual mental circus, where even having played it, I can't quite see what any member of the Warp team was thinking. Well perhaps other than: "Hee Hee, I wonder if we can get away with this?"

A Super Hero, who is called Old Man Hunter, flies about saving young short-skirted traditional Anime styled Japanese school girls from dirty old men by playing and hopefully beating them at Mahjong.

O.K. Still with me? No - I don't know either.

I'm fairly confident the kids weren't begging for this. Least of all Japanese school girls. One question that always floats through my mind is this: Has any male in Japan, a male related to either the Anime or Video game industry ever actually met a Japanese school girl? I have and they bare not even a passing resemblance to the characters in these stories. I don't get it.

Of cause that was the least of my worries playing Old Man Hunter: Mahjong.

If we assume I cannot play mahjong this review is going to be considerably simpler. The story went something like this. A young cutesy Japanese school girl was tottering her way home through Shibuya-ku. How do I know it's Shibuya-ku in central Tokyo? The buildings have 109 written on them and that is where my wife is from. Anyway, she was tottering home and this dirty old man pops out and starts taking photographs of her. He then exposes himself to the girl. On seeing his, in Japanese chin-chin I guess, she whips out a torch, think Batman symbol, and flashes the Old Man Hunter signal onto the clouds. Old Man hunter then swoops in and fights the dirty old man - he then challenges him to a game of Mahjong.

...words fail me.

Was Warp making light of what was, and perhaps is, a serious issue in Japan? Young girls were frequently molested on trains and buses at this time. Yet from what I know, the girls weren't the dainty little flowers as depicted, waiting for some Superhero to save them. No indeed. Many girls armed themselves with 3" safety pins from their skirts and unleashed Japanese schoolgirl fury on the dirty old mens hands when they felt them. Japanese schoolgirl fury being something to avoid as a rule.

Was Warp showing its disgust and perhaps showing its solidarity with the girls? Was Warp trying to attract the female Japanese gamer? Or just perhaps drawing attention to the problem? What were they thinking and why do it like this? Yet the girls depicted in the game could well be accused by some as being the root of the actual problem. The skirts. The flashes of knickers. The long legs. Like I said, curved ball.

Perhaps it was to spark debate? I like to think it was something along the lines of: Yes, anime girls are cute to look at but abuse a real girl and you deserve a good thrashing. Or maybe that's just me.

I'd say this game was 50% import friendly, if and only if you know how to play Mahjong.

Not rare in Japan. Unseen outside of Japan.

3DO Kid.

Cliches.

There is an advert on TV right now for Kitchens. The women shows the store keeper a set of chop-sticks and her love of the orient and presto-change-o her kitchen is transformed into a red and black cliche of the far east. Despite the fact that most of the far eastern kitchens I have been seem to be in love with pastel browns and greens.

Ghost Hunter series: Black death mask is a FMV inspired RPG. Set in foggy old London. I've been to London almost every day for the past two years and it isn't foggy. There is no more fog in London than Guilford is in London. Didn't stop Humming Bird Soft placing it there though.

I'll start off by saying that this game is not emulation friendly. The video sequences are not played back well in Freedo and I made the fatal mistake early on. The mistake of not noticing the blood on the entrance to the ballroom was indeed fatal. It's pointed out to you, if you speak Japanese, so I missed it. First time round, I walked straight in and I was attacked by the 1970's Tokyo Disco appreciation society. Deceased. They wobbled up to me and killed my two lead psychics, Mr Kusakabe and Alex, all before I could figure out how to run off.

So - in true video game style I started again. This time avoiding the Ballroom.

The plot seems fairly straight forward. You as one of a team of four psychic investigators are looking into the death of a Mr Owen, his wife and his two kids - at least I think there was two.

Mr Owens death was solved by me fairly rapidly and without speaking much Japanese - He killed himself. The biggest clue in solving this most perplexing mystery was when the ghost of Mr Owen turned up with a rope around his neck and introduced himself as 'Watashi-wa Owen des'. Page one of Japanese for busy people covers this. So far, so Sherlock Holmes good then.

As it turned out Mr Owen had taken his own life after finding the remainder of his family dead. The rest of his family had been killed, and I surmised this from watching the video sequences only, by either Adam Ant or an extra from Black Adder series 2. The perpertrator, in my eyes, pausing long enough before killing Mrs Owen in shower, to suggest that it was Male.

To help my team, we were assisted by the Butler. Who was also dead. Apparently, according to his story, he had died of natural means. Funny things to say really. I mean, in my opinion it's perfectly naturally to die from being repeatedly stabbed but hey-ho.

The game has you running around a detailed and well designed old English country house, casting your psychic powers over various items and objects and all gathering clues about the murders. Despite my glib comments it did manage to draw me in a little.

The missing name from the family tree. The haunted Church Organ. The Pentagram. It was all building up well.

There are some nice touches in the game. The ghosts are laughable but not too awkward to watch. Some attack, such as the haunted Snooker Cue that went for me. Some just talk, as in the Ghosts of Mr Owen and his Bulter and some offer silent guidance, such as the one that pointed upwards to suggest I should stop pratting around downstairs and go and see Mr Owens ghost.

The lightening strikes constantly in the background added a nice atmospheric effect and the music was later pinched to do the News on Channel 5.

In all I found the game isn't import friendly, as it is all in Japanese. The only other thing worth mentioning is that this game features the best box art for the 3DO.

This game could have been a grower. Even though the clues as to what the hell was going on was faint at best - I did come to enjoy tramping round the spooky old Guilford house but ultimately one for collectors only.

Medium rare in Japan and unheard of else where!

3DO Kid.

Dr Hauzer by Riverhill Soft.

I’m supposed to be reviewing these games right? There is, from what I’ve gathered, a code of conduct amongst reviewers that in addition to sort of insisting that proper grammar, punctuation and spelling is used, is that you don’t spoil games for people by revealing too much of the plot or ruining the ending.

…but these games are in some case 13 years old. You, the reader, are never going to play them and even if you do, unless you read and speak Japanese then the plot will forever remain obscured. Personally, I think we owe it to the development team at Riverhill Soft. Especially the guy who obviously toiled and sweated over developing the 3D engine. The 3D engine was ahead of its time.
The story was well researched and fun and the whole thing choreographed and presented impeccably.

So, I'm going to break with tradition. I’m going to lay bare for the first time the entire Dr Hauzer story – to the very best of my ability! 

Below you will find the complete Dr Hauzer story. Including all the characters, the plot, the Doctors diary and the end sequence.

Look away now if you don’t want it spoiled. 

3DO Kid.

To start, let me introduce the lead character.
 

This is the guy that has been sent to investigate Dr Hauzers, an eminent archaeologist, disappearance.
 
 

The Hauzer mansion is set on a cliff face over looking the ocean which is only accessible by car and that is how our investigator arrives. All very reminicient of Alone in the dark!

 

As you enter the mansion for the very first time, take a moment to cycle through your views. Overhead, isometric and first person. I'd recommend you take longer than 5 seconds doing this, as the Hauzer mansion is about to greet you personally with its favourite palour trick - sudden death. Sudden death is always on the cards in the Hauzer mansion and the first few seconds are no exception as the chandelier crashes to the ground.

 

Walk forward, open the door and enter the 'Hall'. In front of you are two sofas, a coffee table and a grandfather clock. The room also contains three doors and a stair case leading up.
 

Examine the clock by pressing the 'A' button. You will retrieve a 'White Key'. By performing this simple action of recovering the key you have set the mansion in motion. Something deep in the house stirs and the Grandfather clock begins to tick. The camera pans out to dramatise this event.
 

The door nearest the Grandfather clock is locked. The next nearest door is a sudden death door, open it and you fall down a pit and the stairs? You cannot climb them.

Leaving only the the door opposite the clock to be opened using the white key. Walk over to the door and press the 'P' button to open you inventory and then use the left and right keys to highlight it and then press 'A'. The door should now open. 

You will have entered a passage.

Immediately in front of you is a chasm. Try not to fall down. If you select first person perspective by pressing the LS key you should be able to see beyond the chasm. There is a door on the left hand-side and beyond that a cupboard. Immediately on your left is another door. Open it.

You've entered the 'Guard Room'. There is a bed, two dressing tables, two vases and in one vase a flower. There is also a full length picture of a flower on the wall. You are going to take the flower out of one vase and place it in the other empty vase. You will then leave the room via the full length picture. What ever you do don't touch the empty vase. By touching it you trigger a poisonous gas.

Once you have exited the Guard Room you will enter the 'Bedroom'.

In here you will find a 'Red Key' on the dressing table, a floor map and a Green book.

There are in all 4 green books. These are Dr Hauzers diaries!

Dr Hauzers diary - Book 1.

26th October.

A wonderful discovery! Or should i say scary? This stone tablet is the most important discovery of my life and I found it by chance. I have investigated the worlds most sacred sites! And it is amazing I have found this, here of all places!

The discovery of this Tablet appears to be gods will. Surely something wonderful will follow!

20th November.

I have employed Diggers to dig deeper. Things have to be dealt with smoothly. I have ordered the diggers to treat the artifacts with care because it is the only way to proceed safely.

This is my archaeological site. I am not willing to tell anyone about this site and I'm not giving it to anyone.

This is the real sacred place! 

Exit via the door. You are now back in the passage beyond the chasm. Go to the very end. You can look out of the window if you want - you'll be treated to an image of your character having a peek!

Examine the cupboard and press the button. The floor will now slide over the chasm and you can walk over it without fear.

Now head back to the main hall with the Grandfather clock. You can now use the the red key to unlock the door.

You are in the living room. Some tables, a sofa and movable cupboard. You need to firstly move the coffee table. This triggers something that allows you to open the door obscured by the cupboard. So give it a shove. You'll know when you are finished.

Now to move the cupboard. Imagine you are facing the cupboard and go to the right-hand side and face the side of the cupboard. Get as close as you can. Press 'B' and pull back on the joy-pad. You character should start to pull the cupboard backwards away from the table and reveal a door. Keep the 'B' button held down the entire time.

Open the door. You can't save - and you are going to wish you had.

There is a corridor and at one end a dirty great big boulder heading for you. Do not, again I repeat, do not open the door immediately on your right. It is a Bath Room and the only way out I could find was too die - and that isn't supposed to happen.

There is a tap and small puddle of water. Once you are in the room you cannot get out and the only thing to do is turn the tap. Which floods the room and you drown.

So - instead run up the corridor and dive into the recess where you will find two doors. If you wait a moment you get a brief animation of the boulder falling down the hole you would have fallen down if you had opened the third door in the Hall!

These two doors are the Kitchens.

The door facing you is 'Kitchen 2' on your floor map and contains an Orange Key, a knife and a petrol can. Gather them up.

The other door is 'Kitchen 1'.

In this is kitchen is another chasm. You have to move the table a little towards the cupboard and then push it over the chasm.

From here you can retrieve an Axe from the cupboard in the far corner.

Leave the kitchen and head back down the corridor. There is a door leading to the dining room. This door can now be opened by using the Orange key you retrieved from the Kitchen.

Gather the Candlestick from the enormous dining table and the wood from above the fireplace.

When you grab the wood, you'll notice parts of the floor fall away. You will need to jump out of the dining room (using the 'C' button on your 3DO joy-pad). Best to use the overhead view for this and try and get as close the the edge as you dare. When your character jumps he will jump about 3 squares so there is not too much to worry about. However, I'd recommend you save the game before moving around too much!

That is it for this corridor. You are left with last door on the left hand-side. Open it and you will ascend a staircase.

If you have a look around you'll see a dead body and three near doors all near to where you came in. Walk down the corridor and some spikes will emerge to block your path giving you the option of going back down stairs or opening one of the other doors.

Of the three doors you can access, one is locked. The other open. To open the locked door you are going to need get the green key.

So open the only door you can and enter the art room.

Its funny how the eyes follow you around the room? No - well you are going to follow these eyes around the room!

This art room has a number of pictures of eyes, either looking ahead or looking to the left. Start with the eye nearest to the door that is looking left. Then go to the picture on the left. This picture is looking ahead, so you look at the picture opposite and so on. Eventually you will land at the green eye and you can now retrieve the Green Key.

Take the key and exit and use it to enter the upstairs library.

Gather the lighter, the shotgun and the crowbar and head down the ladder hidden in the bookshelf.

Your now in the downstairs study.

There are a couple of Red books and a Green book on the various shelves around you. There is also, hidden in one of the shelves a ladder leading back up.

4th March.

Today it is 2 years since my wife has died. When I remember she never complained. When I devoted my life to my research and excavation and forgot about her she didn't say anything but waited for me.

She was probably lonely because she had no relatives apart from me. I should have spent more time together with her, then I would have found her illness quicker. It was regrettable. If she had survived until the excavation was complete her life would not be over.

Now collect the air vent. You'll get a tiny sequence that shows the papers being  blown about on the desk. Once it is over you can collect a paper from the desk.

You re-emerge in the upstairs library but the doors are closed. Examine the Red books and a key should emerge. Use the key to exit.

You can now enter a room where the Doctor keeps his artefact's.

The above picture, is in so far as I am aware, is the only picture on the web of Dr Hauzer. Well his ghost actually. In the corner of this room is a door that has been boarded up. Use the crowbar on it and enter the tunnel.

It is dark. So use the candlestick, then use the lighter and you should be able to see!

Walk down the corridor and enter a bedroom.

Another Green Diary.

  

11th May.

DAMN!

One of the diggers destroyed an artifact because it was scary - He will receive Gods anger!

The reason why he destroyed the artifact was probably because he doesn't understand this excavation given by God!

He has to be punished. He has to die and be sacrificed to God in order to pay for this crime. Only his death can be compensation!

12th May.

He was sacrificed to pay for his crime. He must be happy. His body and soul are probably meeting 'Kellbim' anger.

My God please open the road to paradise and give me its sacred seed.

30th March (Nearly a year later.)

I've found it at last!

Finally it came to me. Kellbim and Kellbims stone tablet. On examining the tablet it is apparent that Kellbim was sleeping in this land. Oh what happiness!!!

Kellbims' stone tablet is a sign post to Paradise. But its gate is sealed.

If I  break the seal, I am allowed to enter Paradise. There I will find eternal life with the sacred Tree of Life.

It is probable that God gave this opportunity to me only! Because this road to Kellbim is only available from this place. 

The room you are in is divided into two by a green sheet of glass. Use the shotgun to overcome this hurdle.

You can exit the bedroom now and re-enter the upstairs passage. You are now beyond the spikes!

Examine the body and take the key. The corpse looks like it soul has been extracted.

Now enter the next room by using the Red Key you have in your inventory.

These axe pendulums swing. By using the top down view they are easy to dodge and will allow you to collect the Wooden Key from the chest in the top corner.

Exit this room and continue up the passage and go round the corner. Open this next door using the Wooden Key you have just collected.

You have entered another passage way, with another chasm. 

Near where you are standing is picture that gives the game away. As long as you do not run, you will not fall down the hole - Oh and stick close to the edge!

inch your way over and open the furthest door in the passage and enter. Collect an Orange Key and the final Green Diary!

5th July.

Noisy!

I am trying to break the seal of Kellbim and the Diggers are disturbing me making noises. Apparently they didn't like the fact I gave the criminal a glorious death!

Stupid people...

It would have been better if I had left them locked up in the basement of this mansion. Kellbims secret must not be leaked to the world -

or maybe it would just be easier if I killed them all...

15th August.

I sacrificed each and everyone of them to God. They hindered my road to paradise and that is a crime.

Because of this action Gods anger will be softened, there are no further obstructions to me gaining eternal life.

I just need to open the gate!

11th September.

It is getting noisy again. Policemen and people from the University. Why do they disturb me?

I can no longer ignore them. Maybe they have come to know about Killbims stone tablet? Are they trying to get to paradise as soon as I open the seal?  THAT MUST BE IT! What a nasty living creature they are...

I WILL NOT LET THEM IN!!!!

By any means I won't let them into Gods place without my permission...

They are all to be sacrificed to God...

Last entry. 

In this same room with the diary there are some shelves and a table.

Once you have gathered the parts, leave and head back down the corridor. You going to use the key on the door that opens out on to the chasm. Walk down the same edge of the chasm as this door and then open the door this door.

There is another big picture. If you guessed it was another Picture door, you guessed right. Towards the end of the room is a little orange hook - place the giant axe, the one in your inventory, here.

Now exit via the big picture door!

From this next room you need to collect two items. A picture of the good Doctors wife and some dynamite.

We are very close to the end.

Walk down some stairs and enter a room with a large fireplace.

Examine the cupboards and retrieve any items.

If you now walk over to the fireplace, the side nearest to the cupboard, you should be able to examine it. It should swing out to reveal an opening. Just keep pressing A and go down the ladder.

There is no way back once you reach the bottom. Essentially you fall off that ladder. Make sure you have the lighter and the dynamite and perhaps have saved the game!

Open the door on the right and collect the white key from the dead body.

Now enter the next room. Dead end right? Wrong! Not with dynamite and a lighter its not. Place the dynamite near the wall and light it using the lighter. Then make like a sacred tree and leave! Quickly.

Go back in. You will see a little mining cart go towards it. Press A and you will enter a little pre-rendered sequence as your cart travels down the excavation - those Diggers sure were busy!

Once it stops there is a door in front of you - enter it with the white key.

I do hope you have the picture!

We are in the end game.

It is actually pretty good. Opposite you is Dr Hauzer. He has been sealed in Killbims stone Tablet for eternity and he has lost his marbles.

Me and my wife will be together for eternity - he shouts. He then turns accusing you of preventing this. He then starts firing orange balls at you. Take the picture and march towards the Hauzer Tablet and shove it down his throat. Don't dilly-dally as the game can still kill you!

And that is it, we are finished!

Your character now rides back on the little cart, just as the tunnel starts to crumble. Eventually you burst into the light, in time to watch Dr Hauzers mansion sink into the ground.

Night turns to day and all seems well with the world.

The game then has some out takes form the game. Your character spinning around with the gun in the bedroom. Also on a ladder and also slipping over. It actually a testament to the graphics engine which bit-by-bit has really impressed me.

I hope you enjoyed that. Yes - I know its a giant spoiler of epic proportions but I think of it as a much belated tribute to the work that went into it. It is a cracking game.

3DO Kid.

I’d also like to offer a big thanks to 2Tuff – His walk through completed some 12 years ago, although not complete, helped me on my quest immeasurably.

http://www.essi.fr/~Buffa/videogames/DoctorHauzerWalkthrough.html

It's not every day I imagine you get to play Pinball against the Grim Reaper. Or for that matter an E.T., a mole or Ali Barber.

I'm convinced that the E.T. was included in Battle Pinball just so the developer of the 3D introduction for Battle Pinball could include some outer space in his efforts. I imagine all his friends at the 3D modellers club Tokyo had included 3D renditions of outer space in their games and while they sat around chatting and enjoying a bowl of Nabe or munching down on some Yakitori they quizzed him about how he intended to include an outer space shot in a pinball game. Well, I guess he showed them! ...sigh.

I'm being harsh of cause - the introduction is kind of fun to watch. Even if you don't speak or read Japanese. The fun does stop there though sadly.

The game itself is unique. Unique that is, in the sense that it appears to be only 70% complete yet still released. In retrospect probably not that unique actually is it? If only...

It's pinball. Two player pinball. I like pinball. I really do. I like real pinball tables and I've enjoyed digital pinball tables. Digital Illusions many efforts have whiled away many hours of fun for me as did True Pinball on the Playstation and I consider myself, not a professional but certainly a pinball hardened amateur.

So - it's with confidence I offer this opinion to you. You see - the trick in my opinion to a good Pinball game is not keeping the ball on the table. That, even for an amateur player such as myself, is not that much of challenge. Unless of cause someone fits Grand Canyon between the flippers and a magnet so powerful it pulls lorries from across the street. No. It is features and more importantly the challenge of lighting features. The development of the skill. The truth is chance gets you so far with Pinball but it is skill that gets you the Pinball thrill. Ask any Pinball affectionado and they will tell you the same.

For a manufacturer of real Pinball tables that is the challenge, it must be a careful balance of what is possible and what is practical and what is enjoyable. If you like - a delicate balance of physics, fun and finance.

However, digitise the pinball table and you deaden the problems. Sure - software development time costs money. Sure - break the laws of physics and the anally retentive Elite on the BBC Nazis' goose-step into online petition action against you (and no-one likes that) and sure - over-crowd the screen with too many features and you overwhelm the player. But you can do things the makers of real pinball table can only dream of. Convoluted mechanics, beautifully contrived catches and switches, multi-ball paradise and lights and sparkle that would arouse the most hard-hearted flipper flicker.

...of cause Japan Dataworks didn't bother with any of that. It as if the Dataworks Japan developers played Pinball for a morning having never played it before, then in the afternoon they threw together a game that fitted nicely with a 3D sequence one of their friends had created.

Cruelty to pinball is a crime no-one is safe from.

Battle Pinball has 2 simultaneous pinball player action and I like that idea. A feature that is not possible in the real world or rather not practical in the real world.

What I don't like about Battle Pinball is the lack of even a passing nod to Pinball. The ball physics are adequate. I guess. But there are no features. No traditional Pinball style graphics for lighting features. No features. No decent sound. None of the drama and theatre associated with Pinball. Just stopping a ball going down the middle. It isn't fun. Something of an omission in a game that - "no fun".

On the surface it could have been a great game. Sadly underneath its a slightly mentally disturbed tramp handing out small packets of undisclosed liquid. It upsets you initially to see whats happening and then you want to get away as quickly as possible. And that sums up Battle Pinball nicely.

Rare in both Japan and the rest of the World. Fortunately.

3DO Kid.

Some things are always there. It is difficult to give an example. For me the Bleriot IV, the first aircraft to cross the English channel, is always there. Like a reminder. Every so often it crops up and it makes me smile. The same for Belzerion. Every list of the 3DO games I see, which increasingly I believe are wrong, Belzerion leaps out at me. It is like the cake in Alice in Wonderland 'Eat me' or rather 'Play me'. So I was pretty happy when a copy of it plopped through my letterbox.

So now I have played it.

There are number of notable omissions from the Western 3DO back catalogue of games; A decent 2D shoot 'em up and a game featuring Big Stompy Robotic Robots.

Sadly Belzerion is not a dyed wool Stompy Robot fest however. From what I can gather the story is based in a post apocalyptic world and you are helping out the police investigate, either a cult or a criminal or cult criminal.

The game is very heavy Kanji dependant and while playable without understanding, the plot which is where the game really focuses is completely obscured by the language. Which I feel is a shame.

Playing the game from my linguistically challenge vantage point, your character seems to journey from scene to scene investigating, gathering clues and fighting robots.

The searching element of the game is split between pre-rendered tunnels, real-time rendered tunnels and fight sequences. There also seems to be a lot of continuity padding. As you fly between different locations, the 'Captain' fills you in on the details and various cut scenes depict your arrival and departure to the various scenes. In all there appears to be a great deal of variety from under ground sewers to art galleries and scrap yards.

The robot fights are well presented graphically but a little lacking in the game-play department. Once you have tracked down the enemy robot you, after a brief introduction, enter into a fight sequence.

This sequence is split between distant pounding with a handgun and up close and personal punching with your Robocop-style fists.

It is well animated but fairly uninvolved to play.

In all I'd recommend against importing to play, there is not much there for the English only speaker. So one for collectors only.

Only medium rare in Japan and obscure in the West.

3DO Kid.

Sometimes I regret starting this blog. Similar in many ways to the day when I was twelve years old, that I would re-spray my bike. Blue and white were the chosen colours. 3 Days it took me. After 2 hours however I had released that I had bitten off more than I could chew. Well – here I am 20 years further down the line realising I maybe, metaphorically, re-spraying that bike. Still – at least this time the Virtual Cameraman girls keep me entertained and I haven't covered parts of my dads car in blue spray paint. Which has to be a good thing.

What, I guess you are wondering with baited breath, is today’s 3DO disc of destiny? Well breath easy, it is Insector War.

I’ll start right off by telling you that this pretty awful. Riverhill soft, the developer, spewed forth this little anti-gem in 1994. They are also behind Dr Hauzer on the 3DO and Over Blood on the PS1.

Story mode – where if you speak Japanese you can behold and cherish the no doubt epic Insector Wars yarn, and battle mode. Where no doubt you can shoot your mate.

You, as the player, enter the world of Insects in Story mode. It is like Megadas in some ways. Firstly it is rubbish. Secondly there is a square play area – a kind of park. Your selected insect then battles another insect by firing missiles that look a lot like marbles. Hold the A button down and your marble takes on super strength and it's all done from a first person perspective.

Naff on a mediocre scale yet perhaps it has one saving grace. Four players on screen at once in Battle mode. Which, thanks to the 3DO pads daisy-chaining capabilities was probably quite fun.

Difficulty is set on turbo and after struggling with the game for a few hours, progress was slow. My opponents ultra-blast-uber-weapon pounded me each and everytime and thanks to long load times fustration quickly ralied to heart-attack inducing rage levels.

The graphics are pretty and move along at healthy pace and the rendered introduction is well chorographed if a little baffling.

Yet sadly the one player experience is awful. Perhaps the multiplayer was better?

Not rare in Japan. Very rare else where!

3DO Kid.

The gang comprises of the following members: There is a blue one with conjoined-twins strapped to its head – The twins are masquerading as ears. There is a jellyfish crossed with a cat. The third member is an Amoeba with one eye and of cause, the final member is a pink cutesy sea anemone. They are all lead by a demon inspired oriental smiling radish - with wings. Oh - and horns.

Yep – right first time: More Warp.

Eno Kenji was (is?) the Geoff Minter of Japan. They both have a weird animal fetish. They both make freakishly addictive games. They both try and tie music and gaming. With varying degree’s of success I might add. And of cause – they are to the casual observer both three-parts to the wind. Separated only by 6,000 miles, a gene-pool and language (unless Geoff speaks Japanese of cause) – practically twins other than that.

So – what did your 2,000 Yen get you back in 1995 when you bought Flupon World?

A picture of two strapping Japanese guys stood in their traditional Japanese underpants of cause. …but that’s just the cover.

Pop the CD into your 3DO multiplayer and you got your moneys worth. Only on the understanding you like puzzle games. Three of them. Also if you hadn’t already seen a demo of Ds Diner or D2 and you wanted to, this was indeed the disk for you. The 3DO extravaganza didn’t stop there however.

Megadas makes an unwelcome appearance - it was, in my opinion, rubbish. Also on the disk is a demo of a curious attempt to cross Mahjong and Anime by means of a superhero called ‘Old Man’ or ‘Rojin’ in Japanese. I’ve seen it, I’ve played it and I still don’t get it.

The crowning glory for this disk is that it also features – as far as I can tell – the one and only 2D shoot’em-up for the 3DO. Of cause Warp being Warp they didn’t leave it at that, oh-no, they went and made the only 2D Shoot ‘em-up RPG for the 3DO.

The puzzle games are variants on what we called Trip D here in the West and they are all reasonably good. Tetris with a twist sums them all up. You are either turning blocks, deleting blocks or matching blocks up. It all amounts to the same thing and if you like this kind of game this disk will brighten your day considerably.

Megadas, covered else where on this blog, would still shame a Public Domain release and even having given it another fair crack of the whip it still down right awful. Robot Sumo in a huge 3D ring.

Finally the 2D shoot’em up RPG. What can I say? It is not Ikuaga. It is not Psyvair. It is not Raiden. It’s a radish firing blue bolts at wobbly amoeba things. It is reasonably fun, if pretty far removed from sophisticated.

Judging by the introduction to this game the story is something along the lines of: “First the Europeans came to Japan and brought the carrot and then came Aliens from outer-space and bought us Puropon-kun(?) to save us this time.” Tenuous? Possibly.

The RPG element has your squad of freakish side-kicks earning LV, traversing a map and collecting items in an attempt to thwart the invading aliens. Fun, given time, I’m sure.

The whole disc can fairly described thus: If anyone remembers the PD (Public Domain) disks you could get for the Atari ST and the Commodore Amiga by ordering from the back of the official magazines or perhaps the efforts generated by the guy labouring away on Net Yaroze (PS1 home DEV kit) then that is what we have here. Flupon World is a collection of simple games. None of them really shine, in fact the high light for me was the “Warp Rap” song but you can while away a lazy afternoon with the contents.

It is fun and well thought out – it just lacks the commercial polish we perhaps arrogantly expect today.

…and it is rare.

3DO Kid.

It's badly damaged finger nail time as we scrape the 3DO release barrel - Tarot.

There is a certain sense of irony with a form of entertainment that claims to be able to predict the future being released on a doomed format like the 3DO. It's like writing the secrets of the universe on Buddy Holly's bottom five minutes before he decided to take the airbus - What could possibly go wrong?

Japan, despite it's technological superiority is an immensely superstitious country. Everywhere is haunted. Ghosts, should you believe the female half of the population, scurry and scamper around practically constantly and everyone knows someone, who knew someone, whose dog used to steal scraps from the rubbish bin, of someone who was a friend-of-a-friend who was killed / raped / scared / sent insane/ bought cheese by a Japanese ghost.

There are terabytes of websites, blogs and forums dedicated to pictures, taken with cameras we don't have access to yet, of mystical and super-natural phenomena claptrap in the land of the silicon sun.

Sneeze, have a grey hair, get up on the wrong side of the futon and you find yourself scurried off down to the local temple for quick waft of holy smoke and enough Yen will be exchanged on lucky-charms for you to have bought yourself a decent health plan.

So it comes as no major suprise that the Tarot, resplendid with a collection of pseudo-religious iconography should be released on the 3DO.

It does what it says on the box. If you can read Japanese that is. Multimedia Tarot presentation with a reading and a collection of information on the cards themselves.

Having said that, a Spiritual Medium told my parents that they would buy a house in the countryside. And they did. Goodness only knows what they would have done if it had been a Spiritual Large...

In terms of rareness there are a few copies if you know where to look.

3DO Kid.

That's right folks - It's time for more Japanese Strumpet Stripping (tm).

I guess what you are asking is there any difference between Virtual Cameraman 1 and Virtual Cameraman 2? Or 3 or 4 or 5? The answer is of cause - "No".

Except of cause for the girls. This time it is School Girl (Kawai Natsumi-san) and Sultry (Tachihara Kimi-san) being talked into nudity as opposed to Slutty and School Girl which was in the first VC outing. Of cause if she's a school girl I must still be entitled to a young persons bus fare and if I can't get away with it, neither can she.

The game-play, such as it is, is to firstly convince the young lady you are actually cameraman by means of a dubious conversation. The next part is to convince her you are a good cameraman. This is achieved by taking good photo's of your chosen girl. Once you have won her confidence while she is dressed, the challenge is taking good photos, with her more convinced her best side is in fact her bare backside.

The whole game can be defeated by trial and error and my guess is the same would be true even if you understood Japanese.

Once the photography is completed you can view your handy work in a slideshow.

All-in-all the girls are pretty, yes they are nude but it's done in reasonably good taste and no worse than what is available in the tabloid press.

The online asking price for this tat is more shocking than the pictures!

Reasonably rare for the 3DO too. Even rarer on the Sega Mega LD where it started life.

3DO Kid.