3DO Interactive Multiplayer

Hmmm. This is a genre that is down with the funky hardcore gamers. It is a cutesy puzzle game with up-to four players playing at once.

Taiketsu! Rooms is unknown outside of Japan and my possession of it thanks to a Tokyo's most fervent David Beckham fan. A young man armed only with an unlimited budget (funded by yours truly) and an account on Yahoo.co.jp auctions.

...and rare? More people have witnessed the Pope handing out free condoms. So yes, it's rare. More-over it's English friendly too.

All this adds to a desire. A desire for this game to be good.

Desire was dulled by doubt however. Doubt because it was published by Sanyo - whose only previous outing on the 3DO was Neo Organic Bioform - a game which will hardly go down in the history of video games as a good experience. But hope springs eternal.

A 3DO collector is to be compared by many as being the poorest diamond miner in all of Computer Gamedom. So few a gems amongst the rubble that a recent post on Atariage forums described 3DO collecting as simply "3DO- not worth your time."

Well Yar-boo-sucks-to-you Jag fan. (They just don't know when to quit do they!?)This is very good. Despite the Sanyo link.

The game-play is busy and takes sometime to get to grips with. There are four opponents scampering around a dynamic maze turning taps and releasing gushing torrents of water in an attempt to send you or someone other than themselves down the drain. Last cutesy character standing is the winner.

To win you have to split your brain almost exactly between your own survival and ensnaring your opponent. Considerably easier said than done. Let your mind wander for a second and you'll regret at your leisure as the water spins you once again towards the sewer.

The first maze is simple enough. Focusing on which part of the game-area your opponents are currently active, then opening the floods to trap them. You can of cause be trapped yourself by the game; either by it randomly sealing part of the maze or by bursting a bubble filled with ice but you can win and on your forth or fifth attempt victory should be within your grasp. Within your grasp but not a certainty.

Taiketsu will quickly punish over enthusiastic complacency. The trap I fell into was that by winning I focused on attacking and not defending. I kept looking for where the opponents were and not where the water was coming from. On several occasions I turned a two-nil lead into a two-three defeat.

The only advice I can offer is too remain calm and remain focused.

Once you have defeated your opponents you face an end of level boss who will need to be beaten at least three times before you can progress to the next maze.

The game-play progresses by introducing more malleable maze elements and feeding your opponents with even more sophisticated artificial intelligence.

Overall it plays with a faint whiff of Bomberman in the air but this is very faint and Taiketsu is almost unique. Certainly on the 3DO it is unique.

If I was too pick fault the frustration element - an element that must in my opinion be present in all games of this type - is a touch to far. The early levels feel a little too long and the sudden death feature of the boss battles in my opinion is simply unfair. Turning frustration to anger in a single sloshing moment. Your only option to beat your opponents again to face the end-of-level boss again.

...but maybe that is because I rubbish at puzzle games and don't be put-off by these mild criticisms.

Taiketsu is quite hard. The game also appears not to be infinite and in-so-far-as-I-have-gotten limited to five mazes. It also demands not an inconsequential amount of time to play.

...but we shall see.

I should also mention the introduction which is actually very entertaining - goodness only knows what is going on but it is well animated and deserves to take the crown for the best bit of pre-rendered FMV on the 3DO platform.

3DO Kid.

There is a title that rolls off the tongue. It roughly translates as "Solving Crayon-chans' mystery" - I'm sure you are fascinated. Brought to us courtesy of the same people who brought the Daemons game on the 3DO - Future Pirates.

Children. The future of the species? Or bone idol little lay-abouts that a good clip around the ear couldn't put straight?

I tend, as I steam towards over-maturity, to lean towards the latter. Crayon Shin-chan adding considerable fuel to this fire of belief.

My understanding of Japanese is weak at the very best but I have fostered an instinctual dislike of loud disrespectful children that transcends race, religion, creed and colour.

I dislike Crayon Shin-chan enormously. The over-fed rat like child grated on me like nails down a blackboard.

It is then gratifying to find out that the irritating little Crayon Shin-chan is disliked by some in Japan too - However not all. And since the little toe-rags first appearance on TV Asahi in 1992 he has rose and rose-in fame. Asahi being more famous in the West for a alcoholic drink of the same name - and you'll need a stiff drink after watching this little demon for five minutes, if you are capable of understanding Japanese or not!

The game it self is based on a traditional computer puzzle game, a variant of Tetris or Warps Trip'D also on the 3DO.

Pieces relevant to the character you are playing fall from the top of the screen. These need to manipulated by pressing A,B or C on the controller and slotted into place before they reach the bottom. The objective is to group the falling objects into groups of four forming square shapes. Once achieved a question-mark will fall from the top, incorporate this object into another group of four and your opponent will have extra-blocks added to their side or the screen will change colour to obscure what they are doing or some other act of hindrance to their game.

All would be well - except for Crayon Shin-chans annoying little jibes at his parents every time you succeed in disrupting his parents game.

The difficulty scales and eventually you will face Daimoan the ultimate baddy - and no doubt to readers of Japanese solve the puzzle.

The game play is very good. The first round where you play against Shin-chans father is actually credibly different to other games in the same genre. The second and third levels continue this theme of variety while maintaining a well balanced difficulty. Not too easy, not to difficult. The game succeed in drawing you in far enough to make you want to keep playing.

In fact only Shin-chan himself ruins this game ultimately - which is a shame.

Quite rare too!

3DO Kid.

Pyramid Intruder. Yet another Japanese only release for the 3DO. Set in 2035 it is your job to traverse 7 levels of a Martian Pyramid.

A 1995 Taito release for the 3DO and was converted from a Sega Laserdisc game called Pyramid Patrol.

It seems to be compared with the likes of Sewer Shark, Novastorm and Microcosm. It is certainly in the same genre. Personally I would say it is probably genetically a lot closer to Burning Soldier on the 3DO. Certainly in look and feel.

The story line has aliens up to their usual underhanded sneakiness building a huge ancient pyramid on Mars, from which they intend to launch an offensive against the planet.

Your job as pilot is to, wait for it, that’s right! Stop them. Not through negotiation, or by offering them tributes or gifts but by blasting them to where ever nasty aliens go when they get sent atom-by-atom from this mortal plain.

To that end you zoom around the extended Pyramid, and when I say extended it features quite a few more chambers than the traditional Earth based pyramids.

During the rendered introduction your space craft looks amazing, sadly during the game it looks less so.

It’s getting to the point where I could make a template for this sort of game as, yet again, the self same criticisms that surfaced for Microcosm, Burning Soldier et al, raise their ugly head, once again for Pyramid Intruder.

The craft handles like a shooting mouse pointer without even offering a knowing nod to the laws of physics. The aliens do vary from level to level but they might as well not bother and the selection of lasers is reasonably distant from inspiring. Essentially missile-like ones and photon-pulse like ones. To add insult to weapon-layout injury the differing power-ups are straight from the original holy-writ on such things: Big bomb, sweeping bomb and shield.

Leaving only the sweeping pre-rendered streamed from CD backdrops and end of level baddies to inspire. Which actually they do.

Each level has a tunnel sequence where you as pilot get to chose left or right. These tunnels are not pre-rendered but rendered real-time in 3D, similar in many ways to those found in Crystal Dynamics Total Eclipse. During these sequences a few waves of enemy ships attack you and you get the opportunity to collect ‘Gold Statues’ the reason behind this collecting is however some what obscured.

After a time wandering the tunnels you enter the chambers which are generally being streamed from CD. These are rather pretty when all said and done and quite
varied. Each takes its style cues from ancient Egypt but with a set in space twist. There is one sequence where enormous Anubis statues fall on you, another where giant pendulum-like axes swing at you and yet another set in column lined hall. These are fairly impressive and rescue the game if only in the eye-candy stakes.

The difficulty is reasonably balanced – I achieved level 6 of 7 after about 2 hours of playing – set I should mention on ‘easy’. The entire game is in English despite it only being released in Japan – go figure that one out in your own time.

The conversion from the Sega LD isn’t exact other than obviously the lesser resolution the on-screen cockpit that the Sega version had was lost in translation to the 3DO only appearing briefly during the start of each new level.

The last thing I will mention is the audio sound track. It reminded me of Kramer vs Kramer. Yes that’s right the 1980s movie of the same name or perhaps Class staring Rob Lowe. The music has trumpets in it. It is not Rock music and it isn’t Techno or Rave it’s 1980s brass band music with a leading trumpet… It isn’t annoying, it doesn’t grate but it is kind of weird and ever so slightly relaxing. Very odd!? Yes I know.

So, is it worth having? Yeah why not. I kind of liked it. It is rare- very rare but grab a copy if you can.

3DO Kid.

One of the great things about what I am doing is that I get to explore places that no-one has seen for a very long time. One would imagine that in the 12 years since its release not too many westerners have scuttled around the house that Riverhill Soft built. The other great thing is that I enjoy sharing my exploring snap-shots with the world. With that in mind: Doctor Hauzer - another Japanese only “Scare ‘em up” for the 3DO multiplayer.

Comparisons. Comparisons. What to compare Doctor Hauzer to? Well, obviously, Alone in the Dark (AITD). Certainly the two games are similar.

Yet there are differences.

The first difference you’ll notice as you walk for first time through the so-it-seems compulsory survival horror double doors, is that the French style found in AITD’s mansion is missing from the Doctors property. Hauzers abode having an air of 1950s fashion, and in-line of cause with the Archaeologist goes missing in 1952 plot.

Another instant graphical difference is the 3D quality of the main character. In a straight one-on-one fight, Carnby would be pummelled and beaten badly by Dr Hauzers lead character in the charisma and style department. Dr Hauzers main protagonist looking almost anime.

But both these are minor cosmetic differences.

There is little difference in the controls and the game shares a familiarity to anyone who has ever controlled Carnby. Your avatar can walk, run and jump. He can also find objects, combine objects and use objects. So far, so the same then.

Yet while both AITD and Hauzer have you roaming around an old house solving puzzles and avoiding be killed, Dr Hauzer as it turns out differs from AITD in a big way and shares something more in common with Warps’ ‘D’. There are no enemies. No walking dead. The good Doctors house is devoid of things for you to ‘kill’. Except for killing the final boss and of cause yourself. Of which you will find killing yourself remarkably easy to do.

And there are other differences.

A big difference, and one for the better, is its handling of the Achilles heel of the whole genre. Camera angles. If a developer gets them wrong players struggle to walk across rooms, avoid traps, kill enemies and so on. AITD, the Resident Evil Series, D and essentially any 3D survival horror game suffer to varying degrees from poorly positioned cameras. Even recent classics like the Onimusha series suffer from defective camera positioning.

However Dr Hauzer has three camera angles from which you can choose at will. A remarkable yet for the most part un-plagiarised feature of the game. You can have the standard isometric 3rd person view of your character. If you click LS you can enjoy a top down view of your character and his immediate surroundings, another click and you have a first person view, from which you can actually look around your environment. So you don’t get stuck behind objects, fall into traps you couldn’t see properly or get hit by projectiles just out of view or if you do, it was your own fault.

Doctor Hauzers game-play is actually focused entirely on disabling traps, finding objects and solving puzzles. This is where the deficiencies in the game set in. Firstly these puzzles are less than obvious, made even more difficult by the Resident Evil feature of twinkling relevant objects having been omitted or more likely not invented in 1993 when this game was made.

Combine this with sudden death! Sudden death plagues Dr Hauzer. Open the wrong door; move the wrong object or do the wrong thing and Dr Hauzer will have no qualms about killing you instantly. Progress is made by making a safe bet that every room has a puzzle of some description and the opportunity to die. Adopting a policy of save before you enter is wholly beneficial. Fortunately you can save at any time and continues are unlimited.

Sadly this combination of sudden death and the need for invisible yet absolutely essential objects turns what would have been an exceptionally good game into a mediocre game. You can progress incredibly far to discover that you have been thwarted by an object you don’t possess and have even less of clue as to what and where it is. The game can becomes frustrating. “I can’t progress”, “Why can’t I progress?” “I don’t know”. Frustrating and essentially a little demoralising.

Another area of concern is triggers. Triggering something is not always followed by an explanation. You will perform a task, you’ll receive a cut-scene or perhaps a sound but you will still be oblivious to what actually has just happened. And, it should be noted, an ability to read Japanese has no bearing on this. This also makes the game a little confusing.

Audio is effective and high quality but also can be grating. Howling dogs, ticking clocks, swing lamps are all realised in audio splendour and the back ground music is OK but it starts in exactly the same dramatic way each time you enter a room. Which after a while drove me nuts.

As an aside, room entering? Should you be wondering is very Resident Evil. In fact – identical to Resident Evil.

In terms of size, the home is inline with what you would expect for a man on archaeologists salary. I.e., "Small". Time spent wandering the halls of the Doctors home is quite short, it is probably a little shorter than Alone in the Dark 1 and probably only about a quarter of the size of the Resident Evil mansion.

To summarise then: it’s short, demoralising and confusing – sounds like my boss.

These gripes should be viewed as a challenge rather than a put-off. Place them aside and you’ll find the good Doctor has a fine bedside manner. To be fair Dr Hauzer is certainly worth playing. If you just want to explore there is a walkthrough available and to this end graphically Dr Hauzer is very easy on the eye. Easier perhaps than AITD.

To call it “scary” would be a push, perhaps mildly creepy is better phrase but it does belong in the survival horror genre – just about. At the end-of-the-day Dr Hauzer is clearly another rung on the ladder that was ascending to Resident Evil and perhaps worth investigating for that alone.

Finally – is it rare? I was too scared to look!

3DO Kid.

What has ITV, Kendo Nagasaki, onion sauce and racing pigeons got to do with a 3DO game?

Saturday afternoon visiting my name sake, affectionately referred to as: ‘Granddad with the pigeons’. Every week we witnessed said Grandfather munching down his enormous Saturday lunch. Potatoes, meat, carrots, gravy, Yorkshire puddings and complete with daunting amounts of thick and heavy Onion sauce.

My brother, sister and I operating under strict orders not to go outside, for fear we would upset his beloved racing pigeons. Therefore we were trapped in the unbearably hot living room. Ex-miners get concessionary coal – and my Grandfather made the most of it, keeping the coal fire burning at the same searing temperature regardless of season or climate.

The only thing vaguely representing entertainment was the TV. My Grandparents had ‘Colour TV’ while at home we endured black and white. While the naive may believe that this addition of colour to our monochrome lives may have been something to look forward too – the truth of matter was it was 1979 – Saturday TV still belonged to the adults.

Huge men. Big Daddy. Giant Haystacks and of cause Kendo. Throwing each other about. Lying on top of each other. With lots and lots of yelling and screaming. The twisting and turning of appendages. Gallons of sweat and of cause - Lycra.

The relationship therefore is ‘Wrestling’.

From those distant childhood memories one thing lurches to the fore of my mind when presented today, some twenty years later, with wrestling.

I don’t like it. In fact I cannot stand it.

It was only later that American wrestling became popular in the UK, and as far as I was concerned it was more of the same – save for the American accents and the women in limited clothing.

Royal Pro Wrestling on the 3DO is everything I remember about wrestling.

Firstly – it is slightly confusing. I should point out the game is for the most part in Japanese. However from the manual there seems to be a bewildering thirty characters to choose from including Hulk Hogan and, I believe, the Undertaker. There are also a healthy number of Japanese and Mexican wrestlers. Each with about twenty moves that can be used to wrestle your opponents to the ground for the count of three. Like I said though – confusing. The manual clearly has thirty characters to choose from – each one listed with their moves but no where in the game could I find them. I could find around ten – so perhaps the remaining twenty are locked in a sub-menu somewhere – of which there are a lot.

Secondly – Royal Pro Wrestling is confusing. My character, after a very 2D introduction, entered the ring and was almost immediately beaten to the floor. After a few presses of the controller he got up and was promptly knocked down again. He then got up again. So- far-so-good. He than charged backwards, hit the ropes, then ran at full speed at his Sumo like opponent. It looked like my first victory but my opponent stuck out his arm and my character hit the floor. And so it continued. It seemed no amount of frantic switching between the manual to see the moves available to me or wild button bashing seemed to make one-iota of a difference. Disappointed by my lack of skill, my opponent added variety by flinging me out of the ring. Then climbed out to meet me and then hit me with a chair. Eventually, somewhat stunned, my character climbed to his feet, only to be tripped-over by someone else outside the ring.

Eventually I managed to get back in the ring. Only to be sat on and wrenched about by my opponent again. In all the whole experience was confusing. Plus I was lead to believe there were ‘rounds’ in wrestling – but Royal Pro Wrestling didn’t seem to feature any.

So, I move to the third and final thing. Royal Pro Wrestling was confusing. My character seemed to enjoy more second winds than baked-bean taste tester. He would take a thrashing, then wobble a bit, then appear to be as right-as-rain, only to be thrown, squashed or beaten some more. Also, whether I actually did anything or not seemed to have little or no bearing on my success. Sure, my character would stop moving if stopped pressing but that ultimately seemed to have no effect on the game or its outcome – I lost.

The graphics while from the whacky world of 2D scale nicely and are well presented and the same can be said of the sound.

In summary it was all too confusing.

In Japanese rareness terms it is not very, however in the US/Euro zones it is pretty rare.

3DO Kid.

Not strictly speaking a 3DO game but a 3DO M2 game. D2 is the sequel to the first D as originally intended by Eno Kenji.

Unfortunately the 3DO M2 unit as a games console was shelved by Matsuishita after spending a $100 million on acquiring the technology. Having said that the M2 technology lived on, albeit periodically, as a corporate multimedia device, a presentation unit for chevrolet, a coffee machine and an arcade board.

Sadly however the M2 D2 was never released, although according to the rumours it was finished as a game.

From various sources around the web and from having seen the demo included with Warps other gaming series, Flopon World, a few pieces of information regarding the plot can be collated.

Firstly, Laura, the main protagonist of the original games dies in a airplane crash but her unborn child lives on. Magically teleported from her womb prior to the crash - or so it would seem.

We are then left with a plot question. Either her son reaches maturity by natural means or is magically aged.

Either way, it is son of Laura that is running around the European medieval style castle solving puzzles in a similar way to her mother.

A few other screen shots around the web, predominately those from the 3DO collective, seem to suggest that the Dracula theme is further exaggerated with references to the original Drac the Impaler but I guess in ways privy only to the employees of Warp.

The only D2 demo I have currently as already mention is from the Flopon World disk - which I will describe:

The introduction starts by showing a panoramic view of San Francisco, the year is 1998.

The scene then switches to a Boeing 747. Destination unknown. Although the airline company "Prawair" suggests Eastern European? Maybe - maybe not.

Once taken-off the scene changes once again to the aircraft interior. A number of people are moving around in their seats and the attention to detail is impressive.

The camera finally settles on Laura who is sat next to the window. At this point Laura then has a flash back to the events of the original D.

It is after this we can see that Laura is in fact pregnant as she clutches the child inside her.

A storm brews outside and the aircraft is struck multiple times by lightning. The passengers all start to panic and the air-masks fall from the area directly above their heads.

The final scene has Laura fading out and then a heart-rate monitor signifying a declining heart rate - although, perhaps significantly, it doesn't flat line. The image then pans to the D2 logo with a feetus included.

So did Laura die or not? It is amazing the number of times in Japanese media that the main protagonist dies right at the bitter end. Classic Japanese stories, for example 47 Ronin, have this 'beauty in death' cliche, that while existent in other cultures, is heavily emphasised in Japan. Good examples available to Westerners are the many Takashi Katano movies, where he, usually taking a starring role, dies right at the end.

Like wise for films like the Ring and more recently Premonition. Although not unique to Japanese culture (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid springs to mind) it becomes even more apparent in joint US/Japanese movies - when Tom Cruise lives but Ken Watanabe dies. Or Takeshi Kitano dies but the American Omar Epps lives in the film Brother.

Europeans/Americans like their heros alive - the Japanese like them dead - albeit beautifully.

So - I'll predict dead. Having said that Laura isn't Japanese ...but of cause we don't know for sure and Laura was amongst the living in D2 on the Dreamcast - although there are no similarities between the two games.

And before anyone cites Akira Kurosawa he pandered to Westerners!

Finally, the last shots are of the medieval castle and some Japanese words overlaid on top.

Translation: The sequel to the eagerly anticipated "D's Diner" has finally arrived.

Translation: Keeping the fun aspect of the interactive movie, it has become a real time adventure. Both freedom and scale have been improved.

Translation: A mystery novel, Ds Diner is revealed by the 64 bit machine which produces good graphics.

More information about D2 was included in the 3DO Live! Magazine volume 9 (or 10) - which I am trying to get hold of. Any help appreciated!

I'd also like to point the images are grainy because the video images are grainy - nothing to do with me - 1996 technology!

The FIA provide an official sticker which you can stick on your Formula 1 game. Should you of cause be making one. With this endorsement and with millions of F1 fans around the world, you can goad loyal F1 fans into buying your game.

Probably the most memorable of these was Psygnosis’ first effort, Formula One, developed during 1995. It was very impressive. Impressive graphically, technically and more importantly as a game. So, along with its FIA seal of approval, it sold in huge numbers around the globe.

On October 28th 1995 a game born in Japan also carried the coveted emblem of Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile. It, as it turns out, was significantly less impressive.

During the mid-nineties it was fashionable for developers to impress the game buying public with details of the number of polygons in their games. A pseudo arms race emerged, fought not with weapons of mass destruction but with polygons of mass squabbling.

It is re-assuring then that some companies managed to keep their heads clear of such childish squabbling and continued to develop 3D games as they saw fit.

Pony Canyon, developers of F1GP for the 3DO, saw ‘fit’ but clearly didn’t know what ‘fit’ actually was.

The result? The wheels are square.

Virtua racer on the Saturn was being promised, it had already emerged on 32X and had been in the arcade for years. Fun? Perhaps but as far from technically true to F1 racing as is possible. It was an arcade racer at heart.

F1GP is in the same graphical vein as VR, however it is a F1 simulator at heart. Tracks, teams, cars and drivers all present and correct for the year. Damon Hills not so beaming smile, staring back at you, jumbled amongst a small glut of Japanese characters.

To begin F1GP starts off impressively. Its 0-60Mph is actually awe inspiring. The license, the introduction, the level of detail in the options open to you. All of which will have you thinking you are on to a winner. It is a Japanese game but very English language friendly.

Up until the game actually starts everything looks promising. You key in your name, pick a driver and team and it’s eyes down for a quick round of qualifying. Then a free run. Then more qualifying. More free running. A practice run and then, finally, the Grand Prix.

It’s quite anally retentive about pre-race qualifying. Which will grow weary if you are like me and like your racing games with power-slides, sudden death and nitro.

However, something will have struck you long before you see your first all-car F1 line-up. The graphics. Essentially the lynch pin in any racing game, are appalling. The first thing to hit me was the wheels. There is no animation to show the wheels turning in the direction you are heading. Unsurprising really, when considering the wheels appear to have something of the cube about them. The car itself is made of no more than a handful of polygons and doesn’t really look too much like an F1 car of any era.

We then move on to the subject of pop-up. As a rule I don’t see pop-up. It is usually pointed out to me, at which point I go ‘Oh yeah’ and then that is all I notice until the game ends.

…but in F1GP the pop-up is so bad it will have your eye out.

All of which is a shame because despite all this the game is actually not so bad.

You see, technically the game is accomplished. It features a myriad of tweaking options to alter the cars handling. From gears, to brakes, to steering, some 10 things in all to alter the way your car behaves and while some have lamented F1GPs handling and mentioning also while the car appears to pivot in the middle and not on the front wheels, the handling isn’t all that bad - albeit with effort.

In terms of graphical intention it is pretty strong too. Full car-line up on Grand Prix day. Replay modes, available at anytime, including a TV mode which would have been impressive if the graphics themselves had been better. It is all implemented well and there is a representation of pit-crews. Which is generally a crowd pleaser.

Missing or rather what we expect now in August 2006 from a racing game is that there is no damage to the cars. No smoke. No skid marks. The collision detection routines would allow me to hit you right now from where you are sitting. At any time. Vague then. And no commentary. Japan blissfully unable to correctly pronounce “Murray Walker” let alone impersonate him. Whether that is a negative or not is entirely up to you. Other niggles are perhaps the absence of a reverse gear but you can balance the desire to go backwards against rear view mirrors which actually the game does have.

Being of the impatient variety of human I find F1 Simulators on the whole can be a trifle slow, and the tedium of trying to race simulator style very rapidly kicks in. So in my opinion often the true test of a F1 game is trying Ridge Racer style techniques on it. From the starting green lights, try charging up the inside, shouldering people off the track at the corner or better using people at the corner as brakes to slow you down before charging off again. F1GP didn’t quite let me do this. I could do it. It just never seemed to benefit me in anyway. The point being the opponent drivers come straight from the Polyphonic school of good AI – i.e. it is none existent and they will doggedly stick to the racing line come what may. So - perhaps - it is a true simulator rather than an arcade racer pretending to be a simulator.

Ultimately, like so many 3DO games, F1GP is half way to being a good game. Back '95 it seemed a good 3DO game engine never met the right graphics and the right graphics were always dating the wrong game engine. And F1GP doesn’t break any moulds. I personally believe fun can be tickled from under the rough graphics but only with patience and a love of FIA endorsed racing sims.

Pretty rare too.

3DO Kid.

It was so big and shiny. I just had to pop it in and let it spin around. When it came up it was so big and impressive to begin with. And it was so hard too! I kept playing with it and playing with it and it just got harder and harder. Until I had to eject it.

...I am of cause talking about N.O.B.

Enough then with the innuendo? Yes? O.K.

N.O.B – Neo Organic Bioform a game by Sanyo for the 3DO multiplayer.

Having played this game for a couple of hours I can’t pigeon-hole its genre. It is without any fear of contradiction a unique game. It is a first person maze, turn based, futuristic 2D fighting game? Perhaps…

The story line is even vaguer. You have been kidnapped by an unknown crime syndicate and turned into a Bio-weapon. Your mission is to escape from the laboratory and get the medicine to turn yourself back to human.

The game appears to be comprised of two stages - in so far as I have deduced.

The first part is straight forward enough – roaming around a 3D maze. Similar to every FPS ever made. This part has its strengths and it weaknesses.

On the strengths side it melts pre-rendered graphics to real-time generated graphics extraordinarily well. Entering a lift or a special room and this transition is done brilliantly. The game also features a very good onscreen map. Which is helpful.

Helpful because turning left or right can be disorientating and is really bad. Yes, you heard me right, turning to the side is done very poorly – you as the player never seem close enough to the wall to actually perform a turn but then once you do turn – by some miracle of poor 3D engine design, you were close enough after-all.

It’s confusing and disorientating and makes you feel like you have rotated 180 degrees as opposed to 90. To over-come this fairly major short-coming, you compensate by watching the onscreen map rather than the game itself. So the 3D maze roaming part isn't exactly great.

The second part of the game is fighting. I’ll be upfront about this, it’s more like a bitch slapping contest actually.

Your character is one of seven photo-realistic bioform monsters. These monsters are realised graphically very impressively – anyone familiar with monster from the Japanese Godzilla or Ultraman will recognise the Bio-organic life forms in the N.O.B. I guess parallels to the animated Genocyber series and the bio-boosting Gyver are in order too. Sure. OK. They are men and women in highly convoluted suits - bobbing, swaying and half-dancing like drunks at an all night Karaoke bar but the suits are pretty good and a nice number of frames of animation have been utilised in the game, so they do look and animate nicely.

To fight you have to attack – such as it is in N.O.B. This is broken into two parts. Firstly a cross hair part where you must pinpoint a part of your body you want to use in the attack. At the same time your opponent is doing likewise. Then, after the limb has been selected, some random process takes place and the screen flips to a traditional 2D fighter pose. Your N.O.B., versus another N.O.B., so to speak. At this point just one of you slaps the other in a wimpy not really making contact bloodless way and then it's back to part selecting.

Of cause, receive too many slaps to your N.O.B. and it’s game-over.

It is very unclear as to why just one hit takes place. It’s also unclear as to why one slapping N.O.B beats another.

Confusion also reigns over another element. One where you are applying extra HP to one part of your body. Perhaps, and I'm unsure, you improving their hit ability. Defeat an enemy however and this number increases. Why this is all happening is vague at best. Made worse by the fact the game, except spoken parts, is predominately in English.

There are also three difficulty levels to choose from. However, the first two appear to be miss-spelt, as in my opinion it should have read. ‘Hard’, ‘Hard’ and ‘Hard’.

All this is of cause fine. Obscure game. Mysterious menu options. Cack-handed game-play. Impossible difficulty. All of these features are of cause no stranger to 3DO Kid. The real bane. The real suffering. The real rabbit dropping in this packet of Revels is the load times.

Never – in the history of the world – has anything loaded so slowly. Enter maze. Cue 30 seconds of loading. Enter lift. More loading. Meet monster. Loading. Start fight. Even more loading. Switch to 2D view of this slap-fest. Yes, you guessed right, more loading.

Somewhere in deepest, darkest Japan there is some guy still playing with his copy of N.O.B. Still waiting for it to finish loading, still waiting for the instructions to make sense and still wandering the nicely textured but ultimately dull labyrinth of mazes and levels.

Sadly I don’t want to meet him. Anyone playing with their copy of N.O.B for that long will be blind and perhaps have hairy palms.

…and it is rare too!

3DO Kid.

Decisions - Decisions - Decisions. I'm sat looking at a demo of D2 for the M2. It's grainy but intriguing. However, I also found this, 'Waterworld'. It's promotion for an unreleased game by Interplay based on Kevin Costners film of the same name.

Most people append the word "dire" when talking of the film "Waterworld" which at the time was the most expensive movie ever made but to be honest I watched it and kind of enjoyed it. The movie cost $175,000,000.00 to make due to ever ambitious ideas and failed to recoup this money at the box-office.

The game, according to the people who designed it, was a rendered back ground with sprites overlayed on the top affair. Similar to Novastorm, Microcosm, Creature Shock and a myriad of others from the era.

On their site the Pickfords (the British developers of Waterworld) recount how they were forced to make a game for Interplay, that they thought would ultimately be boring due to the subject matter and the setting. Interplay appear to have ignored the developers and pushed the project on. Then after not an inconsiderable amount of work by the brothers development team, the game was cancelled because, as it panned out, Interplay decided it was boring...

Still - enjoy the screenshots. It certainly looked interesting and reflects the look and feel of the film.

3DO kid.

Read more of the Pickford brothers comments here:
http://www.zee-3.com/pickfordbros/games/softography.php

I had a nightmare once.

I dreamt a man named Tramiel had dug his way out of the New Mexico desert and was releasing a new games console: Jaguar Too – code named “Prescot”. The vision continued. A blue hedgehog was stood outside of Maplins buying up everything it could see in a panic. My dream then switched to me being chased by a mad Japanese guy called Ken – he was clutching a giant crabs claw, he kept yelling ‘Massive damage!’ I ran away.

As I ran I saw a dozy looking guy in red dungaree’s, he was undoing his fly – I stopped and asked him ‘What are you doing!?’ he said he needed to go pee-pee. I said you can’t say that – you’re too old for that sort of phrase. He said he would think of something else.

I ran on.

Past a slight man with bad blond haircut – he was bashing away at beetle with a sledge-hammer, but the beetle wasn’t dying. He turned to me and said “Won’t you think of the children?” he looked earnest but I asked him about the bug, he said eventually he would just ignore it as it posed no threat to security.

I became troubled. Worried. Frantic.I tried to phone Trip Hawkins but he kept telling me he was on the phone. So it was up to me to save Interactive Multimedia Entertainment. Me - 3DO kid.

Then I woke up in a cold sweat. Just a dream.

…just a dream.

Flying Nightmares.

A flight simulator. The imaginary world of Flight Simulators is a tremendous world. It is full of rolling landscapes, freedom, poetical swoops and dives and dramatic flybys. Power plunges towards the ground. Hunting like a trained killer your prey. Then an elegant mid-air pirouette, two missiles later your quarry plunges to his death in a trail of blackened smoke. Victory never tasted sweeter. Of cause, that is the imaginary world.

The real world of flight simulators is an entire rainforest of paper. Twittering on about pitch and yaw and flaps. And so many different types of brakes it’s unhealthy. Next time someone is planning on making a flight simulator I may just pop-in to make sure that they, just like Domark did with Flying Nightmares on the 3DO, don’t get all anal about brakes.

There is just one aircraft in Flying Nightmares – The Harrier jump-jet. A fine British aircraft that in its day was terribly good at slaughtering Johnny Foreigner where-ever and when-ever they stepped out of line. It looked like fun, hovering there in a jump jet, ready to rise majestically above the tree line to waste the fuzzy-wuzzies.

This too is probably better left in your minds eye. The reality may also be fun. Sadly the simulation is painful. Especially sat clutching the badly conceived 3DO joypad. Although owners of the 3DO flight stick claim to enjoy this game more.

The graphics are OK, the sound is OK. The handling, once I managed to actually take-off, seemed OK. I never managed to kill anything. I kept grabbing the quick reference card to remind myself how to launch a missile but all I ever managed to launch was a small sigh of exasperation. As the microscopic grey pixel representing the enemy aircraft zipped away – unhindered so it seemed to me at least, by real world physics.

I spent sometime enjoying looking at my aircraft from the outside thanks to the external cam.

If you like classic flight simulators from the early 1990’s this may well be for you. If you enjoy polygon deficient aircraft carriers, texture-less oceans and fast moving single grey pixels representing enemy aircraft and more braking systems than kwik-fit - then hey – enjoy it. I’m reliably informed Flying Nightmares is one of the best.

You see - patience is a virtue. With this virtue it seems possible to extract a fun game from Flying Nightmare. I sadly have not been bestowed with said virtue and therefore thought it sucked.

The answer to the question to which you are pondering I’m sure concerns rareness. For which I bestow Flying Nightmares with a medium score on the rare-o-meter.

3DO Kid.

Battlesport™ from the makers of Captain Quasar. I’ve been putting this one off. In part it’s a PAL release and I wanted to balance my PAL releases. I have a lot, a huge amount actually, of Japanese games coming and wanted to intersperse them with some native English games.

Secondly, it had the word ‘sport’ in the title. The back of the box suggested it was a futurist split screen sport and I couldn’t face it. Reminiscent of the time I offered a Rabbi a bacon sandwich. A polite smile, a wave of the finger, a shake of the head and the sound of coin dropping in my head. Oooooh! You don’t do Futuristic Sports simulators? That’s right. I don’t.

Yet I am 3DO Kid – and it is my destiny to play every 3DO game.

So I stuck it in the tray – it was either that or some Ego or Igo or what ever the hell that Japanese marble game is. I bet it is Othello.Well it was either that or Alone in the Dark 2.

So – Battlesport™.

It is good. It really is. The introduction is good. More polished than most. The graphics are good – although the Freedo emulator and the pictures below do not communicate that. The options available are good. A good selection of different craft / tanks. Different bolt-ons. Different enemies. And the big difference – well the knee trembler in my case, the game is actually good. It is fun. Even in single player mode. It must be a riot in two player.

There are several modes of play – instant action, exhibition and tournament. Tournament gives you the ability to earn money and with money you can upgrade your tank with various add-ons. Jump capability, extra shields, stealth mode, there are many different add-ons available designed to give you the edge, or take the edge away from you opponent

You have a tank, or to be fairer a craft, although the game calls them tanks. The tank is armed out-of-the-box with a missile launcher and some lasers. The objective is to use the tank to grab the ball and shoot it through the goal. Trying to stop you is player 2, with the option of having them either computer controller or human controlled.

Each game is split into three parts and you charge around the walled play area pounding the hell out of your opponent or trying to grab the ball and shove it through the goal. Get shot while running towards the goal with the ball and you will fumble if the opponent hits you with enough lasers shots. Although this can be avoided by spending money on the right upgrades.

The action is frantic, aided by the graphics engine which gives your tank a feeling of lumbering power and a great sense of inertia, as the craft tries to turn to get a shot, get the ball or get a power-up. The music adds to the experience and adds a genuine sense of pressure to the game.

This is extremely enjoyable. The AI routine that controls the opponent tank in one player mode isn't great but good enough to put up a balanced challenge but obviously not a scratch on a human opponent.

65% rare I would say.

3DO Kid.

Three things philosophically wrong here.

Firstly the name. Microcosm. The dictionary definition is as follows:

A small, representative system having analogies to a larger system in constitution, configuration, or development: “He sees the auto industry as a microcosm of the U.S. itself” (William J. Hampton).

or if you prefer:

a miniature model of something

Neither of which describe terribly well what the game Microcosm is about.

Might I suggest Microbism:

the state of being infested with microbes

Considering the game has you as the pilot of micro sized craft, traversing the internal systems of some chap. Fighting and shooting at enemies that seem to take their design cues from micro-organisms?

Of cause it's too late for my suggestions.

This was, in its day, touted as one the most important games to be released ever. It was another CD only game. Thanks entirely to the fact that it comprises of streamed from CD pre-rendered backgrounds. Overlaid with an handful of sprites and a tickle and a promise of a game.

Of cause, UK magazines of 1994 drooled over the 5 minute pre-rendered introduction and worked themselves into a lather about the possibilities. Yes - Psygnosis' marketing machine had hit the button labelled 'Over drive' and stamped hard on the peddle. Meanwhile the Psygnosis game play development department was in a lay-by enjoying a sandwich and a nice cup of tea.

The possibility the press tried not to think too hard about was that Microcosm might turn out to be the Shadow of the Beast for the nineteen-nineties. Disappointingly and predictably - it was.

Although accusing Microcosm of what Shadow of the beast was accused of, namely being style over content, is a bit of a stretch too. Mostly because it has little style either.

It's difficult to quite fathom where Psygnosis were going with Microcosm. They had a story, in part lifted from the 1980s movie, Inner Space. It has elements of sinister corporations (Axion) and nefarious characters and stressed scientists. All set in a Blade Runner style setting. Yet it goes no where. The story fades into a distant, yet really well rendered memory, once the game starts.

Your craft is injected into the human host and you swarm your way through the 7 levels blasting microbes to where ever microbes go when they get blasted.

It's not fun. There is no inertia. The craft moves like a mouse pointer. You can upgrade your weapons from weedy and pointless to super and over-powerful, making light work of end of level bosses. There is no interactivity in the route you take. Because of the way the game is designed, the lack of movement and the psychotic enemy craft, you'll find being shot is all too easy. It is too hard to dodge bullets and ultimately you'll resign yourself that being shot in Microcosm is the norm - then you'll die. Your craft takes no visual damage, only the health bar steadily decreases. Until you are dead. Then you, if you can be bothered, start again.

In fact all the same criticisms squared at Novastorm (Scavenger 4) can be squared at Microcosm except the Microcosm music is awful. The relationship between the games being that both were made by Psygnosis.

So why, and this is third thing, the second thing lost in the ramble above, do I remember Microcosm so fondly?

Maybe it was the hysteria Microcosm received before it was released. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. It is on 3DO. It is on Sega CD. It is on CD32. It's gonna be good.

Then it wasn't.

Perhaps some deep psychological part of me still believes 'It's gonna be good'.

Pretty rare on the 3DO too!

3DO Kid.

Born to darkness. Over a year in development. It scurried from the 3DO Studio nest. Eager for the laser light. Its marketing team was full of hope and dreams. And, as it burst into the sunlight for the very first time, its eyes blinking lazily, some git from Liverpool cracked open its skull with something that look very much like a Wipeout promotional toy.

1995, as it turned out, was not a good year to be a 3DO game.

At its heart Bladeforce was a true classic. You see, buried in its DNA, its 3D engine, was a link to some forgotten classics. Pinball construction kit and Raster Blaster. Bill Budge, industry stalwart from 1980s, was responsible for the physics engine. And boy - is it good!

In a straight fight of inertia routines, in a battle of Bladeforce versus Wipeout, potentially Bladeforce would have the upper hand. Its handling feels less spongy, the inertia more realistic, the controls bound to it more intuitive.

...but the kids don't buy inertia.

During development of SkyVyper (Bladeforces WIP name) a lonely hearts advert was placed.

"Caring, thoughtful, well developed 3D engine seeks story. Must be willing to take a Trip. Sales potential and marketing not essential."

What responded was some of the most destitute sorry looking clichéd concepts of our time. In human terms, the 3D engine was a sensually bosomed brunette, with great running legs. What it eventually married was a bold, overweight Elvis impersonator of a story. And not a good impersonator either. …and only capable of playing one or two riffs on the guitar – over and over and over and over again.

The plot has you as some kind of cross between Inspector Gadget, Judge Dread and Robocop - bringing justice, somehow but solely involving guns, to a bent Lawyer, a drugs dealer, an insane scientist and a nutty surgeon – amongst others. The objectives being to investigate them by, well, shooting at them, shooting large cube shaped rotating keys and then shooting some more.

The utter dullness of the story, the un-engaging enemies, the overwhelming apathy dredged up from the plot belie the main problem I faced – after-all, after nine months of 3DO games I'm naturally immune to such things.

I'm not even going to anally whitter on about pop-up either. Why? Well because I never notice it and secondly if i can play the game - who cares about pop-up? It's a bit like frame-rate - I just don't see it. Whether that's a curse of a blessing I'm not sure.

No - it's the wall of mystery that surrounds the game. What am I supposed to be shooting? What do these boxes do? Where can I get the end of level boss? Did I have to do that? Should I have done this?

Even the training mission doesn't clear anything up.

The game handles - it really does but the rest of it needs handling too, much like waste plutonium. Lock it in concrete and dump it at the bottom of the sea.

Not rare. Not at all.

3DO Kid.