Games - are all different.
Some games snuggle up to you, all cute and soft and then once you know them, they punish you like you're a bad boy. Whips and chains... but you like it.
Others are gentle and kind and even when you're naughty, wouldn't raise a hand to you.
Johnny Bazookatone is like grabbing a handful of stinging nettles and shoving them down your pants.
It would never be a good idea and if you did do it, you'd probably regret it for a quite while.
You see - Johnny is punishing you for no apparent reason.
Johnnys' hate, so it seems, is irrational.
From the word go this game despises you. It hates everything about you. Your face. Your hair. Your clothes. It thinks your family is ugly and given the chance Johnny Bazookatone would wee in your cats ear then invite the dog to lick it.
It's like in a past life-life you were Adolf Hilter, Ghengis Khan or the little guy from Fantasy Island no-one likes, "The plane Boss, The plane" - "Yes. Fine. Shut up and play Johnny Bazookatone you annoying little freak!". It is a punishment.
It's like the feeling you get when you are being, much like the A-Team, punished for a crime you did not commit.
...just take the damn disc out of the tray. Just turn it off. Don't look. Run. Run while you still can.
This platformer is bad. Very bad.
No. It's worse than bad. It's evil
What other word best describes a game that tries so hard to kill you? From the first few steps, Johnnys' little 2D platformer tries to annihilate you.
The graphics are nice enough. Clay models. Johnny himself is well animated and the foes he meets are well presented. As are the levels. Pity the same can't be said of the level design, which is nettle in pant shovingly bad.
The game respawns enemies immediately and on top of you. The weapon provided is inadequate. The control pad unresponsive. Traps, Cacti and leaps of doom mean the average fruit-fly has a greater life expectancy. All this adds up to make a psychotic game of suffering.
In summary: Good children go to Gex on 3DO. Bad children go to Johnny Bazookatone.
Moderate on the rare-o-meter too.
3DO Kid.
This game sucks harder then the entire ten year run of Friends! or if you prefer Paris Hilton on a first date.